Mon. Feb 18th, 2019

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez campaigns with Dr. Evil for $1 million minimum wage

After many municipalities have mandated employers pay a minimum wage of $15 an hour, others are campaigning for higher minimum wage regulation. Some activists insist that a $33/hour minimum wage should be enough for everyone to live off of comfortably, but others want even higher minimum wages across the board.

Dr. Evil, multinational businessman and terrorist is insisting on a $1 million minimum wage in every city in America.

“Gentlemen,” Dr. Evil said in a telecast from an undisclosed location, “the people who work in entry level jobs deserve better. They deserve more than anyone because they have the hardest jobs on the planet besides me. Therefore, I’m demanding a minimum wage of one million dollars.”

Newly elected Representative from New York, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is fully on board with the devious schemer Dr. Evil. “This is democratic socialism in action. We must push this through Congress and the other two bodies of Congress.”

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, has taken the demand seriously and is considering a proposal to increase the minimum wage to that unprecedented level.

“Dr. Evil is right that our workforce deserves more,” Pelosi said in a press conference. “I think it will be difficult to do, but I think we need to pass the bill to see what will happen.”

People with any basic economic sense have rejected the idea due to its complete denial of reality. “All minimum wage does is make the people who are worth less than the minimum wage unemployable,” economist FA Mises said. “It’s pretty simple. Unemployment has increased right after every increase in the minimum wage and if we increased the minimum wage to $1 million an hour, everyone would be unemployed.”

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