Wed. Jan 23rd, 2019

BREAKING: Pope Francis changes the Lord’s Prayer, adds ‘deliver us from the evils of global warming’

Rocking all of Christendom, Pope Francis announced that he will be changing the Lord’s Prayer (the “Our Father”), adding, “deliver us from the evils of climate change,” at the end of the prayer.

“Jesus Christ was clearly talking about anthropogenic climate change when he gave us these sacred words,” Pope Francis said in an interview with Italian television. “So, we want the translation to fit more closely to the original intent.

No where in the original Greek transcription of the prayer does it mention anything about climate or weather or anything similar. But that’s not holding back supporters of the change.

“This really is unprecedented,” Jesuit scholar Enrico Fermente, SJ said in an interview, “but His Holiness is well within his right to make the move.”

The Supreme Pontiff also added other words to the prayer:

“Give us this day our daily bread,” will be changed to, “give us this day our daily gluten-free bread,” and “lead us not into temptation,” will be changed to, “lead Argentina to a World Cup championship in 2021.”

“It’s absolutely heretical,” one critic said. “It should be Italy that we want God to lead to a World Cup title!”

Pope Francis defended the change, “You have different sects changing God to gender neutral and so many other things. We can’t do that but want to be hip and relevant too! We want to evoke change just like everyone else.”

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