Local courts flooded with Karens demanding name change

After recent events giving Karens a bad name, Karens across the fruited plains of America have inundated municipal civil courts with demands for name change.

The leader of the charge has done several media appearances.

“We’re tired of being a focus of memes, the nightly news, and 43 percent of tweets,” Karen Whitmer said during a Today show interview with Hota Kotb.

When Hota meekly suggested only 41.5 percent of tweets were directed at Karens, and some were in support from other Karens, Ms. Whitmer flew off the handle. She demanded to speak with Hota’s producer, who after prolonged one-sided discussion, gave her a 10% off coupon for her next cat litter purchase.

When asked what name they would prefer, she said many chose “Gretchen”. Everyone loves Gretchen, said Karen “Gretchen” Whitmer.

“I guess I’m going to have to grow out my hair too,” Whitmer added thoughtfully.

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