Wed. Jan 23rd, 2019

Social justice warriors condemn white blood cells for oppressing cells of color

A new trend among self-professed social justice warriors at American universities is a medical treatment aimed at eliminating white blood cells from the body.

“They’re white, so they’re oppressive,” Tina Smith said at a rally outside the Yale University medical center. “We want these colonizing devils out of our bodies!”

The procedure involves a blood filtration technique that removes only the specific white blood cells from the blood and leaves everything else.

“White blood cells have been oppressing pathogens and cells of color for years and we will not have it anymore,” activist Yolanda Perkins added. “White blood cells make up only 1 percent of the blood volume but take up nearly all of the energy. We must stop this injustice.”

Students waved signs stating, “Tear down the wall!” and “Let the pathogens in!”

Medical professionals are shocked by the treatment.

Dr. Peter Jordans who works at the medical center was seen pleading with activists. “You guys do realize that white blood cells are important for immune function and you will be susceptible to horrible diseases if—”

He was cut off with chants of, “Let in the path-o-gens!” and, “Oppressed people rise up! Eliminate your white blood!”

 

 

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