Mon. Dec 17th, 2018

Vatican appoints 3 toed sloth to efficiency panel

In a move that some are calling brazen, Pope Francis has appointed an actual 3 toed sloth to the Vatican panel of efficiency.

“It’s like the pope doesn’t have any interest in improving efficiency with the panel on efficiency,” political critic Lars Bowman said in response.

Three toed sloths are infamous for their inefficiency and their proclivity to sleep 22 hours a day.

The move is getting heat especially after Pope Francis appointed Cardinal Cupich to the panel on the sex abuse crisis.

“I mean, Cupich literally said there were more important things for the Pope to deal with than the sex abuse scandal and yet, he’s getting appointed to the panel on sex abuse. What’s he going to contribute to the meeting? Is he going to talk about climate change at the sex abuse scandal meeting?”

The 3 toed sloth, whose name is Bill, comes from the Philadelphia zoo and was very supportive of Pope Francis from the start of his papacy.

When asked about the efficiency scandal, Bill slowly replied, “Pope Francis…has…more…important…things…to…worry…about…than………….efficiency.”

“What’s next,” Bowman wondered, “Stevie Wonder for the panel on Church architecture? Paul Krugman for the panel on Church economics?”