BREAKING: Female cop ‘accidentally’ pulls hairdryer instead of gun 
Walmart opens new riot section in all of its stores 
Biden announces universal castration in order to stop sexual assault and regulate ‘ghost penises’ 
AOC proposes infrastructure bill where the nation’s infrastructure is destroyed and rebuilt again 
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Dems shocked to find their lives still suck after Trump is no longer president
US—Many Democrats are flying high today after the culmination of more than four years’ of bipartisan work to end the reign of President Donald Trump....
Cleveland Indians win ’21 World Series after changing name to Cleveland Dominion Voting Machines
The long lasting name for the movie-star Cleveland Indians baseball team has come to an end. The infamous team were forced to change their names...
Kamala Harris says Mayan calendar prophesies she will assume presidency February 02, 2022
WASHINGTON DC—Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris says the Mayan calendar has revealed she is to take the presidency of the United States on February 02 or...
All disagreement suddenly ends in America as Biden elected president
US—After his historic victory in the presidential election, which was the first not to have voter fraud, former Vice President Joe Biden said his first...
BREAKING: Lil Wayne reveals that ‘he ain’t black’
MIAMI—Lil Wayne is feeling the heat after he became the latest prominent rapper to announce that "he ain't black." Before President Donald Trump jetted to...
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BRAVE: Georgetown basketball team kneels through entire game; loses 281-0
Tech Grid
CDC recommends everyone now wear tin foil face masks while in public
WASHINGTON — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) readied new guidelines Monday on coronavirus protections including an innovative new tin foil face mask...
Following Air Force One debacle, Biden installs stair lifts throughout White House
WASHINGTON, DC—You’ve probably seen the video dozens of times already of Biden tripping on the stairs of Air Force One not once, not twice…but THREE...
Biden installs windmills in White House to take advantage of all that wind knocking people over
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has installed several massive windmills in the White House to take advantage of the intense wind that is knocking people down...
CNN: Disturbing new trend of Americans having ‘unfettered conversations’
(CNN) Over the past few months there’s been a disturbing new trend that’s been spreading like wildfire. More than ever before, Americans are having ‘unfettered...
In effort to win over media, Ted Cruz starts putting COVID patients in nursing homes
AUSTIN—Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) who was criticized for not personally fixing all of the telephone and cables during the snowstorm is now being praised by...
AOC recommends increasing cow farts to warm Texas up
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) made a bold suggestion for Texans experiencing unprecedented cooling caused by global warming: more cow farts. The ingenious recommendation came...
