Michigan’s White Witch cancels Christmas, launches the 100-year quarantine
EAST LANSING, MI—Michigan’s White Witch Gretchen Whitmer has officially launched the 100-year quarantine, emulating Los
Christmas
Pro-social distancing protest expected to attract 10,000+
Happening Near You- An anti-Christmas gathering protest is scheduled to happen near you. The protest
Merry Refugeemas! Saint Negligence promises a fake asylum seeker for every supporter of amnesty!
The Christmas Holiday is well known despite the efforts of Secular legal precedence set forth
BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage situation
Police, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an LAPD officer
BREAKING: Google office quarantined after employee accidentally wished a “Merry Christmas”
The Google Headquarters in Mountain View, California shut down Monday after a delivery man cheerfully
STUDY: Time travels 3.4 times faster using a chocolate Advent calendar
Albert Einstein would have appreciated this news. A new study released in the Annals of
Local child miraculously has only broken 18 bones after three days on hoverboard
A local 8-year-old girl, Felicity, is experiencing a Christmas miracle not breaking every bone in
Social justice warrior super excited to ruin Christmas for everyone
Sixteen-year-old Taylor Towns of Newberry is a self-proclaimed social justice warrior who spends most of
Town prohibits wishing people “happy holidays” as it is too “Christmas-y”
The Town Council of Wannanacho, Oregon passed a resolution restricting holiday greetings between people this
