Defense Secretary Austin receives 50 more commendations and ribbons for being out sick last week
In a stunning display of valor and resilience, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has added a staggering 50 new commendations and...
Lloyd Austin
BREAKING: Pentagon hires Sam Bankman-Fried after proving he can lose money as fast as anyone
US—The Department of Defense has hired embattled cryptocurrency Ponzi schemer Sam Bankman-Fried after he lost $16 billion overnight. "We saw...
BREAKING: US military to accept people who identify as good soldiers but are biologically no-skill fat slobs
WASHINGTON, DC—In a brave path forward under the Biden administration, the Pentagon is set to eliminate all discrimination in the...
