maskhole
BREAKING: Biden bans assault breathing; mandates holding breath while in public
WASHINGTON, DC—In the ongoing fight against the deadliest disease ever, President* Joe Biden has outlawed assault breathing and mandated that...
Anti-mask student released from jail after promising to become a school shooter instead
LARAMIE, WY—An anti-mask Laramie high school student, Grace Smith, was arrested for trespassing after daring to come to school without...
Schwarzenegger stars in new film as cyborg sent back to kill off humanity with mass vaccination program
HOLLYWOOD—Former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is back on the big screen this summer, staring in a new Terminator film called The...
CNN: All 600 relatives at Obama birthday bash wore invisible face masks
MARTHA'S VINEYARD--Former President Barack Obama assured the public that all 600 of his close family and friends wore invisible face...
BREAKING: Nancy Pelosi breaks her own mask rule, kills 74 people
WASHINGTON, DC—Nancy Pelosi broke her own mask rule for a photo op at the Capitol, killing 74 people. https://twitter.com/TheFirstonTV/status/1421111997672853504 When...
CDC opens ‘Faucitown’ where residents can drink vaccines mixed in Kool-Aid every day
FAUCITOWN, GA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have opened a village called Faucitown just outside of Atlanta where...
VIDEO: Fauci recommends wearing masks in the shower
WASHINGTON, DC—In a new video, a newly bearded Dr. Anthony Fauci warns of a new threat of spreading COVID while...
Fauci says everyone has to mask up and social distance until the next pandemic
WASHINGTON, DC—In an interview today with CNN host Brian Stelter, Dr. Fauci cautioned that everyone has to wear masks and...
