UPDATE: Taliban conducting mostly peaceful beheadings and other news
Welcome to PNN news, the Puppet News Network. This is your up to the minute update. Taliban forces continue to...
Taliban
BREAKING: Taliban to combat climate change by killing all dissenters who breathe
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—The Taliban has vowed to tackle climate change as part of the terror group's attempt to rebrand itself and modernize. A spokesman...
BREAKING: Pete Buttigieg declares himself winner in Afghanistan election
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—As the new Afghan government is forming, former US Democratic Presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg announced himself victorious in the...
Biden awards Gen. Milley participation trophy for Afghanistan
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to spin the disastrous Afghanistan situation, US President* Joe Biden awarded Chairman of the Joint Chiefs...
Introducing Taliban Barbie with hijab, Quran, and a forced marriage license!
Toy maker Mattel has introduced a wonderful toy for all the girls and boys who identify as girls out there:...
Biden invites Taliban to White House to show he means business
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden invited the Taliban to an extravagant dinner at the White House "to show them I mean business,"...
AOC disappointed Taliban is using ‘gas trucks’ to rape and pillage instead of electric vehicles
WASHINGTON, DC—News of the horrifying takeover of Afghanistan by the Taliban who are raping and beheading opposition as they go...
CNN: Q Anon has overtaken Kabul
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—The Q Anon Shaman was seen in pictures taken at the Afghanistan Presidential Palace after he and other white...
BREAKING: Biden gives Taliban weapons, tanks, drones ‘so it’ll be a fair fight next time’
WASHINGTON, DC—According to reports the Taliban seized US weapons, munitions and military equipment such as armored tanks and military vehicles....
