Biden orders flags flown at half-staff for all the folks who didn’t die after states reopened
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden ordered flags to be flown at half-staff today to honor all the people who didn't die after...
Texas
Texas publishes helpful map for Californians looking to move to the state
AUSTIN—The Texas Board of Californian Resettlement (TBCR) has published a helpful map for all the Californians seeking asylum in their...
BREAKING: Texas declares each Californian 3/5th of a person
AUSTIN, TX—Texas Gov. Gregg Abbott signed an executive order today declaring Californians in his state three-fifths of a person. “I...
AOC unveils plan to fix Texas’s energy problems
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has suggested the answer to the near total failure of green energy in Texas...
In effort to win over media, Ted Cruz starts putting COVID patients in nursing homes
AUSTIN—Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) who was criticized for not personally fixing all of the telephone and cables during the snowstorm...
BREAKING: Biden deports all Republicans to Cancún
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to the Ted Cruz scandal plaguing the nation, President Biden signed an executive order deporting all Republicans...
AOC recommends increasing cow farts to warm Texas up
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) made a bold suggestion for Texans experiencing unprecedented cooling caused by global warming: more cow...
Green New Deal support increases among the Amish after green energy fail
ANDOVER, OH—As millions of Americans lose power provided by Green New Deal compliant energy sources, support for the bill among...
BREAKING: Texas issues ‘stay at home’ order for entire state of California
AUSTIN—Amid the current rampant pandemic, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has issued an urgent "stay at home" order to all of...
BREAKING: Texas to send 1000 electors since the Constitution doesn’t matter anymore
AUSTIN—The state of Texas is preparing to send 1,000 electors to the electoral college since the Supreme Court has ruled...
