BREAKING: Video emerges of Trump admitting ‘I’ve sold a lot of state secrets’

We’ve finally got him this time! Video has emerged of former President Donald J. Trump admitting that he’s “sold a lot of state secrets.” There’s no hiding it now. He’s going down! He’s a traitor and a criminal! He should be behind bars yesterday and for the rest of his life!

CORRECTION: The video appears to be of President* Joe Biden saying that, so it’s totally okay.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

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