Stormtroopers Now Recruiting US Secret Service Agents After They Fail to Hit Would-Be Assassins Routh and Allen in 10 Shots
CORUSCANT — In a surprising move, the Galactic Empire announced today that it is actively recruiting members of the United...
World
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true
US—The United States declared a national emergency Tuesday after intelligence agencies confirmed what had long been whispered in dimly lit...
Israel’s Pride Festival Near Ancient Site of Sodom and Gomorrah Cancelled Over 85% Chance of Fire and Brimstone
DEAD SEA REGION – Organizers of the “Rainbow Renaissance Festival,” scheduled for next month adjacent to the traditional location of...
BREAKING: Israel warns Trump that Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens are 2 weeks away from developing nuclear weapon
Jerusalem, April 10 — In a stark intelligence briefing delivered to President Donald Trump’s incoming national security team, Israeli officials...
Netanyahu Warns Trump: Vatican City One Month From Nuclear Weapon
Jerusalem – In a late-night phone call that reportedly lasted 47 minutes and included several awkward pauses while aides Googled...
UK Agrees to Let Kanye In If He Converts to Islam and Rapes At Least 5 White Girls During His Stay
LONDON — In a bold move hailed as a triumph for diversity, inclusion, and pragmatic border policy, the British Home...
BREAKING: Lindsey Graham Threatens to Jump From Washington Monument Unless U.S. Immediately Resumes Bombing Iran
WASHINGTON—In a scene reminiscent of a budget superhero movie gone wrong, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) climbed the Washington Monument Tuesday...
BREAKING: Civilizational annihilation put on hold for two weeks
Washington, D.C. — In a dramatic late-night Truth Social announcement that left national security analysts blinking in confusion, President Donald...
Rep Hank Johnson Warns Trump ‘The Whole Island of Iran Will Capsize If Troops Sent In’
WASHINGTON — Fearing for the lives of thousands of Marines, Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) urgently advised the Trump administration Tuesday...
Ketanji Jackson argues that since Trump bombed Iran, he’s now an Iranian citizen
WASHINGTON — In a landmark 5-4 decision delivered Monday, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson held that former President Donald...
