BREAKING: Iran reveals ‘historic surprise’ is actually just a nation-wide kebab festival starting today
After last night’s cryptic vow of a “surprise the world will remember for centuries,” Iran revealed today that the big...
World
BREAKING: Judge Boasberg Declares War On Iran; Sends US Troops In
In a stunning display of judicial overreach, U.S. District Court Judge James E. Boasberg has declared war on Iran, overturning...
BREAKING: Senator Lindsey Graham hospitalized with prolonged erection after Israel bombs Iran
WASHINGTON, DC—Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) was rushed to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center late last night after suffering what...
BREAKING: Hundreds protest US in support of the countries they don’t want to go back to
LOS ANGELES—Hundreds in several cities around the US took to the streets this weekend to protest Donald Trump's deportation and...
LAPD Chief offers to fly Kyle Rittenhouse to LA to help out during riots
LOS ANGELES, CA — In a stunning and totally not-made-up press conference this morning, LAPD Chief Jim McDonnell shocked the...
BREAKING: Pope Leo XIV offers to host peace talks between Trump and Elon
VATICAN CITY—Pope Leo XIV has thrown his mitre into the ring, offering to mediate a high-stakes peace summit between former...
Electric vehicle fires on Chinese cargo ships are proof that we’re doing the right thing for the environment
Dear eco-champions, green dreamers, and lovers of a good fiery spectacle, rejoice! The catastrophic Morning Midas disaster— that glorious blaze...
VIDEO: Greta Thunberg yells at Mount Etna for recklessly violating climate change regulation
ITATY—Climate enthusiast Greta Thunberg has flown to Italy to yell at the world's most active volcano Mount Etna for violating international...
Pride parade cancelled due to 90% chance of fire and brimstone
A pride parade scheduled to be held on Saturday in the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah has been cancelled...
Local leftist peels off ‘All Refugees Welcome’ bumper sticker after finding out that some refugees are white
Portland – In a dramatic turn of events that has rattled the progressive community, local activist and self-described "social justice...
