IDF Installs Razor Wire Fence Around Newest Israeli Settlement KY-4
LEXINGTON, KY — Days after the successful installation of their newest congressional asset, Ed Gallrein, the Israeli government has moved...
World
Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo
WASHINGTON — In a decisive show of executive efficiency, Donald Trump has ordered a specialized federal maintenance team to address...
Israel Celebrates US-Iran Peace Plan by Bombing the Hell Out of Lebanon
TEL AVIV — Israeli officials announced Thursday that a landmark peace initiative with Iran would be moving forward, marking the...
Somali Government to Honor World War 11 Veteran and Hero George Floyd
Mogadishu — The Somali Ministry of Defense announced Tuesday that it will posthumously award the Order of the Banana Star...
Ilhan Omar’s Brother-Husband Is Decorated World War 11 Veteran and Hero
WASHINGTON — In a development that has left historians, basic mathematicians, and anyone capable of counting past ten utterly baffled,...
Federal Judge Overturns American Revolution, Orders States Returned to United Kingdom
WASHINGTON — In a landmark 87-page ruling Tuesday morning, U.S. District Judge Hugh Jassole declared the Declaration of Independence “constitutionally...
Stormtroopers Now Recruiting US Secret Service Agents After They Fail to Hit Would-Be Assassins Routh and Allen in 10 Shots
CORUSCANT — In a surprising move, the Galactic Empire announced today that it is actively recruiting members of the United...
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true
US—The United States declared a national emergency Tuesday after intelligence agencies confirmed what had long been whispered in dimly lit...
Israel’s Pride Festival Near Ancient Site of Sodom and Gomorrah Cancelled Over 85% Chance of Fire and Brimstone
DEAD SEA REGION – Organizers of the “Rainbow Renaissance Festival,” scheduled for next month adjacent to the traditional location of...
BREAKING: Israel warns Trump that Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens are 2 weeks away from developing nuclear weapon
Jerusalem, April 10 — In a stark intelligence briefing delivered to President Donald Trump’s incoming national security team, Israeli officials...
