Bill Gates releases Windows OS for humans: ‘MonkeySoft’ Vista
SEATTLE—While Bill Gates officially has left the Windows board to focus on bioterrorism, he has returned briefly for a release...
Business
Elongate: SpaceX employee complains about Elon Musk’s huge rocket
AUSTIN—A former SpaceX employee is complaining about CEO Elon Musk's huge rocket in a scandal that has been dubbed "Elongate"....
Amid shortage, US infants identifying as illegal immigrants to get baby formula from Biden
Springfield—American infants from San Diego to Sheboygan are identifying as illegal immigrants in order to get hard-to-come-by baby formula shipped...
Elon Musk buys Motel 6 to build first motel on Mars
CARROLTON, TX—Elon Musk announced the purchase of Motel 6 from the Blackstone Group, this morning. He said the nationwide, popular...
Biden promises to fix baby formula shortage by sending more weapons to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden addressed the "shocking" baby formula shortage in the US by sending more weapons to Ukraine. "Really...
Zelensky assures US that 10% of $40B aid package will go to the ‘Big Guy’
KYIV—Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky has agreed to a peace deal effectively ending the Ukraine-Russia war immediately following the deposit of...
Elon Musk secretly buys 51% of all passwords, will soon control internet
ZURICH—The GPO, Global Password Organization, announced on May 5th, World Password Day, that Elon Musk, the SpaceX and Tesla entrepreneur,...
Women rushing to get pregnant so they can have abortion before SCOTUS overturns Roe
US—Women everywhere are rushing to get pregnant so they can have an abortion out of fear SCOTUS will overturn Roe...
BREAKING: People who think men can get pregnant are worried Elon Musk will allow misinformation on Twitter
US—People who think men can get pregnant are worried that Elon Musk will allow misinformation on Twitter, sources say. "We're...
