Local Dad Offers Definitive Guide to When You Should Wave At Someone While Driving
Area dad Mark Thompson, 47, sat down with reporters Tuesday to clarify the complex social etiquette of waving from a...
Lifestyle & Beauty
Trump replies to Comey’s ‘8647’ seashell post with ‘FAFO’ seashell post after Comey is indicted
WASHINGTON — In a development that has left political observers reaching for their maritime dictionaries, former FBI Director James Comey...
Encouraging Positive Money Habits
Money is often one of the most stressful aspects of life. Whether it's keeping up with bills, paying off debt,...
Women Too Stupid To Get I.D. Relieved To Not Have To Vote Anymore
In a stunning development hailed as both liberating and patriotic, millions of American women have reportedly been freed from the...
FACT CHECK: Ben Shapiro’s Eyebrows Grow in Direct Proportion to Number of Bombs Dropped in the Middle East
In a groundbreaking peer-reviewed study, researchers at the Institute for Things That Sound About Right have confirmed what internet commentators...
CNN adds Gavin Newsom to panel on ‘What It’s Like Being Black & Poor in America’
ATLANTA — In what network executives are calling a “definitive step toward radical empathy,” CNN has confirmed California Governor Gavin...
Local woman practices social justice by yelling at ice on her kitchen counter all day
SPRINGFIELD — In a powerful display of allyship that has neighbors quietly relocating their patio furniture farther away, local resident...
BREAKING: Dangerous Cold Weather Closes Schools So Kids Can Go Sledding
In a stunning display of progressive parenting and climate awareness, public schools across the northern United States shuttered their doors...
Santa Claus hopes to make it down 50% more chimneys after a year on Ozempic
In a stunning announcement from the North Pole today, Santa Claus revealed that he has lost an estimated 400 pounds...
Local kids announce they are ‘starving’ 2 minutes after leaving a party with endless amounts of food they didn’t touch
In a heartbreaking turn of events that has stunned parents and child hunger advocates alike, a group of local elementary...
