Minnesota 2021 spring Riot Season set to open this week 
Tylenol recalled after someone who took it tripped over his owns shoes, then fell into a coma 
BREAKING: Fox News projects Hunter Biden to win the Pulitzer for stupid memoir 
Nadler: ‘We need to add 5,000 seats to SCOTUS to preserve our norms of completely disregarding the Constitution’ 
The Genesius Times Official BLM Protesting How-to Guide Featured
BREAKING: US military to accept people who identify as good soldiers but are biologically no-skill fat slobs
WASHINGTON, DC—In a brave path forward under the Biden administration, the Pentagon is set to eliminate all discrimination in the US military. Now people who...
Dems shocked to find their lives still suck after Trump is no longer president
US—Many Democrats are flying high today after the culmination of more than four years’ of bipartisan work to end the reign of President Donald Trump....
Cleveland Indians win ’21 World Series after changing name to Cleveland Dominion Voting Machines
The long lasting name for the movie-star Cleveland Indians baseball team has come to an end. The infamous team were forced to change their names...
Kamala Harris says Mayan calendar prophesies she will assume presidency February 02, 2022
WASHINGTON DC—Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris says the Mayan calendar has revealed she is to take the presidency of the United States on February 02 or...
All disagreement suddenly ends in America as Biden elected president
US—After his historic victory in the presidential election, which was the first not to have voter fraud, former Vice President Joe Biden said his first...
Newsbeat
Mayor reminds citizens to wear BLM gear when burning city so the FBI won’t investigate
Entertainment
BREAKING: Fox News projects Hunter Biden to win the Pulitzer for stupid memoir
Tech Grid
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $600B and immediately deletes it
AUSTIN—Business magnate Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform Twitter for $600 billion and promptly deleted in his latest humanitarian venture. "Everyone knew...
CDC recommends everyone now wear tin foil face masks while in public
WASHINGTON — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) readied new guidelines Monday on coronavirus protections including an innovative new tin foil face mask...
Following Air Force One debacle, Biden installs stair lifts throughout White House
WASHINGTON, DC—You’ve probably seen the video dozens of times already of Biden tripping on the stairs of Air Force One not once, not twice…but THREE...
Biden installs windmills in White House to take advantage of all that wind knocking people over
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has installed several massive windmills in the White House to take advantage of the intense wind that is knocking people down...
CNN: Disturbing new trend of Americans having ‘unfettered conversations’
(CNN) Over the past few months there’s been a disturbing new trend that’s been spreading like wildfire. More than ever before, Americans are having ‘unfettered...
In effort to win over media, Ted Cruz starts putting COVID patients in nursing homes
AUSTIN—Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) who was criticized for not personally fixing all of the telephone and cables during the snowstorm is now being praised by...