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Biden supporters set fire to their homes in solidarity with rioters

PORTLAND, OR—They say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That has now been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt as...

DNC replaces 2020 convention with 5 minutes of loud, sustained yelling at images of Trump

After dismal ratings, the Democratic National Committee will do away with their traditional convention in 2020 and instead spend five minutes a day wailing and...

Breaking: Biden picks Kamala Harris to creepily sniff for the next three months

The decision is in! Finally. After months of painstakingly waiting the senile old vice president cum presidential hopeful picked his new receiver of creepy hair...

Michelle Obama complains about the black American wealth gap from her $12M Martha’s Vineyard home

As most people know by now, Michelle Obama grew up in the Deep South, the daughter of a sharecropper. Her momma had to take in...

Texas Governor sets up ‘Wall of Moms’ to keep Californians out of the state

“A great idea is a great idea!” Texas governor Greg Abbott shouted as he watched the “wall of moms” separate federal agents from a gang...

Tech Grid

Puppet strings visible during Biden’s CNN townhall

SCRANTON, PA—Puppet strings were clearly visible holding Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden up during a softball townhall hosted by CNN. Also visible was a ventriloquist's...

Elon Musk claims his 2025 Model 3 Neuralink vehicles will run on ‘Wishful Thinking’

Elon Musk has been working on his Neuralink system for decades. He now claims he can cure anxiety, depression, hangovers, flatulence, baldness, Karenism, Toddism, and...

Netflix CEO Jerry Epstino defends sexualization of children in ‘Cuties’

LOS GATOS, CA—New Netflix CEO Jerry Epstino has issued a public defense of the new Netflix original film 'Cuties' (“Mignonnes”), which showcases the sexualization of...

YouTube explains its extremely clear community guidelines

YouTube is a very open and transparent social media platform. In this informative video, YouTube representatives explain their extremely clear community guidelines. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGxbaxviRVw For more...

AOC praises California for cutting carbon footprint to zero in blackout

People may be suffering in California due to socialist economic policies and corrupt politicians but some Americans are celebrating. US representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), self-proclaimed...

Bill releases dirt on Hillary so she will just get it over with and kill him already

After a Zoom interview gone bad, former Bill Clinton has decided to release dirt on his wife Hillary so she will just get it over...