Robert Mueller assigned as special counsel to investigate Epstein suicide 
BREAKING: Trump ends US China trade war; swaps Hong Kong for California in unprecedented deal 
Ocasio-Cortez horrified by Epstein’s painting of the Democratic ‘Party’ 
OPED: How many people have to die before we enact common sense Clinton control? 
Oppressive white stick figure lynched on George Washington University campus Featured
Dad of gay teen fondly recalls time when real men only feared daughters getting pregnant
Oh, the good ol' days when men were men and women were women, and boys didn't compete in girl competitions to win gold. This is...
Enlightened progressive recycles platitude ‘Prayers won’t change anything’ for the 278th time this year
Cue the eye-rolls. In the wake of tragedy, a nation full of people capable of doing little more than praying, many Americans express solidarity to...
Mario Lopez disapproves of giving toddlers cancer-causing hormones, is burned at the stake
Well this escalated quickly. During an interview with world renowned white-supremacist, Candace Owens, Mario Lopez let his bigotry show. He said it is a bad...
Fed up with new immigration policy, liberal shouts “walls are immoral!” from gated community
After watching CNN’s coverage of Donald Trump’s immigration policy all afternoon, Bill Williamson decided he had had enough. He shut off his TV, stepped outside...
Report: Facebook classified biology as hate speech because Zuckerberg is transitioning
This explains a lot. After a multitude of users have complained that making basic biological statements have caused the fury of Facebook to be rained...
Newsbeat
Robert Mueller assigned as special counsel to investigate Epstein suicide
BREAKING: Trump ends US China trade war; swaps Hong Kong for California in unprecedented deal
Entertainment
Ocasio-Cortez horrified by Epstein’s painting of the Democratic ‘Party’
CNN’s Chris Cuomo fights negative Italian stereotypes by threatening to break stranger’s legs
AUTOPSY: Epstein suicide linked to constant loop of Taylor Swift’s new album
Tech Grid
Enlightened progressive recycles platitude ‘Prayers won’t change anything’ for the 278th time this year
Cue the eye-rolls. In the wake of tragedy, a nation full of people capable of doing little more than praying, many Americans express solidarity to...
Notorious welfare queens proceed to lecture Americans about right and wrong
Nobody saw this coming. Google, tech overlord the world over, having made billions turning taxpayer money into infrastructure and search algorithms, has taken the lead...
Facebook’s sanctions now include labeling platform offenders with scarlet “A”
In an attempt to ‘moderate the hate’ on their platform, Facebook has rolled out a novel punishment for repeat offenders. They slap a big, ugly,...
97% of climate scientists agree that we only have 18 months to save their jobs
An international body of nearly 100 climate scientists convened by the United Nations have issued a stern warning to the rest of the world. Unless...
Trump’s twitter account labeled ‘Weapon of Mass Destruction’ after Tweet destroys a million libs
Shut down the press. Trump made a tweet and it resulted in the deaths of a million liberals and counting! To help you, dear reader,...
Study: San Francisco most accessible city in America for contracting the Black Plague
The numbers are in and, it turns out, if you long to live in filth and contract ancient diseases then San Francisco is your place....