Featured

Ocasio-Cortez releases university degree to silence skeptics

Many people have become threatened by the success of an intelligent woman of color in a powerful position—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—so much so that they've taken to...

BREAKING: Harambe posthumously announces 2020 presidential bid

Just when you thought the field for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination couldn't get any fuller or more clown-like, long deceased and beloved Cincinnati Zoo...

Facebook bans itself for acting too much like Nazis

After Facebook banned several prominent personalities for posting things they didn't agree with and acting too much like Nazis, the company was forced to ban...

Joe Biden releases logo for 2020 presidential campaign

Joe Biden has announced his candidacy for the 2020 presidential election. His campaign is focusing on a "hands-on" approach to leadership, leaving no head unsniffed....

There are now officially more Democrats running for president than there are people in the world

With two more Democrats putting their hat in the ring for the 2020 presidential nomination, researchers have determined that there are more Democratic candidates than...

Tech Grid

Beto livestreams a bout of violent diarrhea

In an effort to stay ultra-relative and relateable, the Democratic presidential candidate Robert Francis "Beto" O'Rourke has been livestreaming absolutely inane parts of his life...

Antifa member takes break from overthrowing capitalism to snap selfie with iPhone

The life of an anti-capitalist, anti-fascist, commie can be very tough and it's not very rewarding. Antifa members must take breaks every so often while...

OPINION: Stupid Christians think they know their Scripture better than me

As my readers are probably well aware, I am a really smart atheist. That is how I discovered atheism because I was too samrt for...

Facebook bans itself for acting too much like Nazis

After Facebook banned several prominent personalities for posting things they didn't agree with and acting too much like Nazis, the company was forced to ban...

Hipster environmentalists use natural smoke signals to protest pollution

In a bold new strategy, hipster environmentalists are using traditional smoke signals instead of environment-killing electronics to protest pollution. "We really feel that technology is...

Pro-choice astronauts: ‘No sign of life here, just these growing human fetuses’

The first astronauts to reach Mars were disappointed to find absolutely no sign of life anywhere on the planet, though they did find some amazing...