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Buttigieg wants to replace ‘bigoted, patriarchal’ standard alphabet with gay one

Pete Buttigieg has spent some time thinking on how to strengthen the intersectional structures largely absent in the lives of normal everyday purple-haired-pansexual-self-identified-cat-people. He believes...

Cultural appropriation for Halloween forbidden unless you’re a Democratic presidential candidate

In an effort to curb illicit cultural appropriation during this Halloween season, the city of Des Moines, Iowa has banned the act of dressing up...

Breaking: Justin Trudeau to play lead role in Brokeback Mountain reboot

Justin Trudeau is said to have signed on to play the lead in the Brokeback Mountain reboot. A story about two star crossed lovers, Brokeback...

Thunberg to Pope, “Have you accepted climate change as your lord and savior?”

The path of the evangelist is one of constant hope and failure, so one should not read too much into our resident hero's--Greta Thunberg--bold efforts...

Breaking: Pope Francis endorses Elizabeth Warren for President

Not one to shy away from political discourse, Pope Francis has thrown his hat—er headdress—into the discussion of who will be America’s next president. At...

Tech Grid

AOC says she was ‘just kidding about that Green New Deal stuff’ as she cranks the heat up to 72°

US Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been making the case for reducing fossil fuels use and reducing one's carbon footprint. But she recently said that she...

San Francisco mandates wall-size murals of Greta Thunberg in every apartment

The San Francisco City Council has approved a measure to mandate a wall-sized mural of teen climate activist Greta Thunberg in every housing unit within...

Millennial stunned he didn’t get a job after replying “OK Boomer” to every interview question

Local Millennial Braiden Stone was stunned he didn't get a job for a prominent tech firm in the area after coolly replying, "OK Boomer," to...

Uber investors predict massive losses to lift stock price

Investor Fred Smith was dismayed to discover that the fact Uber has never turned a profit and is unlikely ever turn a profit is having...

Ocasio-Cortez applauds California for using natural light instead of electric lighting from fossil fuels

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez applauded Californians for using natural light from wildfires instead of electricity generated from fossil fuels during a devastating blackout this past week....

Ocasio-Cortez thanks unwitting Green New Deal beta testers in California

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez thanked millions of unwitting Green New Deal beta testers in California as they lost power intermittently for several days. "You're showing us...