Amid falling polling numbers, Biden turns to white supremacist vote 
Democrats learning from Labour’s big loss will increase name-calling by 150% 
Alyssa Milano to play Nancy Pelosi in new impeachment film: ‘We Blew It’ 
OPED: We must overturn the UK elections to save democracy 
Labour ‘pretty sure’ they lost because they didn’t call enough people racist Featured
Suckers now born every 11.9 seconds: scientist
A sucker is now born every 11.9 seconds, a new study in Science shows. “Americans who haven’t opened a book on history, math, science or...
Buttigieg wants to replace ‘bigoted, patriarchal’ standard alphabet with gay one
Pete Buttigieg has spent some time thinking on how to strengthen the intersectional structures largely absent in the lives of normal everyday purple-haired-pansexual-self-identified-cat-people. He believes...
Cultural appropriation for Halloween forbidden unless you’re a Democratic presidential candidate
In an effort to curb illicit cultural appropriation during this Halloween season, the city of Des Moines, Iowa has banned the act of dressing up...
Breaking: Justin Trudeau to play lead role in Brokeback Mountain reboot
Justin Trudeau is said to have signed on to play the lead in the Brokeback Mountain reboot. A story about two star crossed lovers, Brokeback...
Thunberg to Pope, “Have you accepted climate change as your lord and savior?”
The path of the evangelist is one of constant hope and failure, so one should not read too much into our resident hero's--Greta Thunberg--bold efforts...
Newsbeat
Amid falling polling numbers, Biden turns to white supremacist vote
Entertainment
Alyssa Milano to play Nancy Pelosi in new impeachment film: ‘We Blew It’
Bernie declares eating $120k duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government
Trump creates single-payer Dept. of Movies with a max actor salary of $50,000 a year
Tech Grid
Suckers now born every 11.9 seconds: scientist
A sucker is now born every 11.9 seconds, a new study in Science shows. “Americans who haven’t opened a book on history, math, science or...
BREAKING: Google office quarantined after employee accidentally wished a “Merry Christmas”
The Google Headquarters in Mountain View, California shut down Monday after a delivery man cheerfully wished a receptionist a "Merry Christmas". All employees were evacuated...
Ruth Bader Ginsburg to video conference next Supreme Court sittings from 7th Circle of Hell
Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will video conference into the next few sittings from her new confines in the Seventh Circle of Hell....
Elon Musk unveils Tesla’s Cyber-School Bus
What started off as a casual comment by Elon Musk in 2012 about wanting to build a truck has evolved into what you see here, Tesla's first production school...
CONFIRMED: Greta is cyborg sent back in time to kill off humanity
Rumors circulated after teen climate activist Greta Thunberg met with Terminator actor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently. Was she in fact a cyborg sent back in time...
AOC says she was ‘just kidding about that Green New Deal stuff’ as she cranks the heat up to 72°
US Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been making the case for reducing fossil fuels use and reducing one's carbon footprint. But she recently said that she...