Bernie doubles down: ‘And that Hitler fella had a really good jobs program’ 
Jussie Smollett pleads not guilty to being employable 
Buttigieg eats grapefruit by stabbing it with scissors and vacuuming the contents out with a straw 
BREAKING: CDC recommends breathing masks at Bernie rallies to prevent spread of deadly socialism 
After success of vagina-scented candle, Gwyneth Paltrow releases hairy armpit and boobsweat candles Featured
Local obnoxious little twit thinks he is smart enough to run the country
We’ve all seen it. These young little know-it-all’s who come in with guns a blazing telling everybody why they’re wrong. Well, welcome to the 2020...
Feud intensifies as Trump bashes Pelosi with folding chair on House Floor
Many thought that after President Trump ignored Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's handshake and then Pelosi tore up her copy of Trump's State of...
AOC celebrates impeachment results: ‘Trump quitted!’
Minutes after US senators voted to acquit President Trump of the charges brought against him last year, many prominent Democrats rushed to condemn the act...
Entire family loses salvation during drive to church
Theologians around the world are scrambling to make changes to established church teaching this morning after it was revealed that an entire family lost their...
Urban Dictionary to add 347,823 new non-binary pronouns in 2020 in order to alleviate confusion
In a stunning revelation, the New Urban Dictionary is about to reveal almost 350,000 new Woke non-binary pronouns simply because the public demands them. Spokesperson...
Newsbeat
BREAKING: CDC recommends breathing masks at Bernie rallies to prevent spread of deadly socialism
Entertainment
Tech Grid
BREAKING: Trump stops tweeting; CNN shuts down, Dems call it quits
The entire world is familiar with President Trump's Tweets. They are the daily fodder for virtually every media outlet. On the one hand, many people...
Electric chair routinely used on staff discovered in Amy Klobuchar’s senate office
It's a rather poorly kept secret that Senator Amy Klobuchar has been downright abusive to her staff for years. Her constant berating, temper tantrums, outrageous...
Satan opens 10th circle of Hell where all you do is install car seats in minivans all day
In an ongoing effort to increase the misery of millions of damned souls, Satan has announced a brand new, more horrifying level of eternal punishment....
Hero of the Christian faith writes ‘Soli Deo Gloria’ after all his inane Facebook posts
PHOENIX, AZ—Barnabas White, a local 13-point Calvinist from Sola Scriptura Veritas Ordo Salutis Church in Phoenix Arizona is wowing both the Christian and secular worlds...
Pete Buttigieg takes sexy selfie at mass grave for South Bend abortion victims
Pete Buttigieg took time out of his busy presidential campaign yesterday to flash a peace sign and smirk on a selfie at the mass grave...
Iran employs long-range Lockheed Martin Gaydar as Buttigieg climbs in the polls
Everyone is well aware of the murderous Islamic thugs who identify, torture and eventually kill gay and lesbian people living in predominantly Muslim-majority countries and...