Michigan’s White Witch cancels Christmas, launches the 100-year quarantine
EAST LANSING, MI—Michigan’s White Witch Gretchen Whitmer has officially launched the 100-year quarantine, emulating Los
Health
BREAKING: Dominion voting machines switched votes to Taco Bell in 2018 Best Mexican Food election
People were shocked when Taco Bell won Harris Poll’s “Best Mexican Food” election in 2018.
Pro-social distancing protest expected to attract 10,000+
Happening Near You- An anti-Christmas gathering protest is scheduled to happen near you. The protest
UPDATE: Biden ankle injury caused by tripping over a box of fraudulent ballots in his basement
NEWARK, DE–The Office of the Pseudo-President has confirmed that Joe Biden was injured tripping over
BREAKING: Biden’s dog attacks him after learning he’s not a man but one of the lizard people
NEWARK, DE–Self-proclaimed President-Elect Joe Biden suffered a hairline fracture and bruised bones when his dog,
Biden warns not to eat too much turkey or the trunalimunumaprzure will make you sleepy
WASHINGTON DC—Self-appointed President-Elect Joe Biden warned of the many dangers of socializing during a Thanksgiving
VIDEO: Meet two of the dead voters who helped elect Joe Biden
The 2020 presidential election has been really fun—especially for deceased people. The silent majority buried
Newsom shifts all police funding to pay for Aerial Turkey Surveillance Thanksgiving crackdowns
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has unilaterally defunded all police this week to pay for his
Oregon Health Authority reminds people to wear face masks while smoking crack at Thanksgiving
PORTLAND — The Oregon Health Authority is reminding people to wear face masks while smoking crack
Gov. Cuomo wins Emmy for Best Portrayal of A Mass Murderer
NEW YORK—Governor Andrew Cuomo has won an Emmy for Best Portrayal of a Mass Murderer
