Local Taco Bell Manager Certain Cyclospora Outbreak Came From Farmers Market Down the Street
TOLEDO, OH — Tony Faucito, shift manager at the local Taco Bell on Monroe Street in northern Ohio, announced Wednesday...
Health
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell Confirmed Brain Dead, So Nothing New
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Doctors at a Washington hospital confirmed Tuesday that Senator Mitch McConnell is clinically brain dead, prompting a...
AOC Sets Apartment Thermostat to 68 Degrees, Killing Six in France
PARIS — Six French citizens died amid a record heatwave in the capital this week, an event Paris Mayor Anne...
All Things Considered…Problematic: The Quiet Violence of Coffee
All Things Considered... Problematic is the NPR-style podcast for the deeply online, ethically exhausted, and perpetually concerned. Each episode features...
BREAKING: Senator Lindsey Graham hospitalized with prolonged erection after US bombs Iran
WASHINGTON, DC—Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) was rushed to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center late last night after suffering what...
People who didn’t accept themselves as they were demand you accept them for who they are
SPRINGFIELD — In a joint statement delivered via a synchronized TikTok live from the back room of a downtown queer...
Trump gains liberal support by renaming ICE ‘Planned Citizenship’
In an appeal to pro-choice progressives protesting the detention center at the Mexican border, President Trump has renamed the US...
Leftists Protest new MAHA Food Pyramid by Staging ‘Processed-Carbs-Only’ Sit-in Marathon
WASHINGTON, DC—Dozens of activists gathered on the National Mall today to protest the newly released Dietary Guidelines for Americans, 2025-2030,...
BREAKING: Google office quarantined after someone was wished a ‘Merry Christmas’
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The Google Headquarters shut down Monday after a delivery man cheerfully wished a receptionist a "Merry Christmas". All...
JUST IN: Brave young Democrat influencers cut off their testicles in protest of Trump
In an unprecedented display of political fervor, a group of young, progressive activists known as the "Brave Democrats" - comprised...
