Bill Gates releases Windows OS for humans: ‘MonkeySoft’ Vista
SEATTLE—While Bill Gates officially has left the Windows board to focus on bioterrorism, he has returned briefly for a release...
Health
Jimmy Kimmel credits being vaxxed and boosted for getting COVID 2 times in a month instead of 3
HOLLYWOOD—Legacy late night television star Jimmy Kimmel continues to test positive for COVID-19. Earlier this month, the 54-year-old late-night talk show host...
Biden to release 100m barrels of baby formula from strategic reserves, send it to the border
WASHINGTON, DC—Americans can rest easy on the baby food shortage according to President Joe Biden, announcing he will issue an...
Amid shortage, US infants identifying as illegal immigrants to get baby formula from Biden
Springfield—American infants from San Diego to Sheboygan are identifying as illegal immigrants in order to get hard-to-come-by baby formula shipped...
Chinese gay community boasts 73 characters, LGBTQ+ cries foul
BEIJING—Gay activist, Peni Xi Hung announced the addition of 13 more groups to the Chinese gay + community bringing the...
Biden promises to fix baby formula shortage by sending more weapons to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden addressed the "shocking" baby formula shortage in the US by sending more weapons to Ukraine. "Really...
Psaki says parents who can’t find baby formula ‘should have just had an abortion’
WASHINGTON, DC—Outgoing White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said that parents who are having trouble finding baby formula amid a...
Lightfoot adds bloody aborted fetuses and bullet holes to official Chicago city flag
CHICAGO—Democratic Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot is vowing that her city will be an "oasis" for abortions if Roe v. Wade is overturned, going as...
BREAKING: Dozens of ugly women won’t have sex with you until you support killing babies
US—Following the leak of the SCOTUS decision overturning Roe v Wade, many brave and entirely unattractive feminists have taken to...
