BREAKING: Biden pulls out of debates unless they provide several nap breaks
CLEVELAND—US Presidential Candidate Joe Biden says he won’t debate President Trump unless there are ample
Health
I faked COVID and had the best 14 days of the pandemic. You should too.
I didn’t plan on defrauding my boss, my colleagues or my family. But one day
BREAKING: Dems decriminalize necromancy to bring back Ruth Bader Ginsburg from the dead
WASHINGTON DC—Democratic lawmakers met today in an “emergency” meeting in order to arrange and pass
Arsonist changes name to ‘Climate Change’ so that people can say Climate Change causes wildfires
PORTLAND, OR—An arsonist who has started several fires in Oregon and California has legally changed
Biden names Cardi B Health Secretary after important fellatio PSA
WILMINGTO, DE—Demcratic presidential nominee Joe Biden has selected hip hop phenomenon Cardi B to be
Netflix releases 3rd season of Making A Murderer: Andrew Cuomo
Netflix has raised the bar of television degeneracy. The entertainment behemoth have released the third
Pelosi calls salon visit a ‘set up’ to make her look bad
SAN FRANCISCO—House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says her recent visit to a San Francisco hair salon,
CDC predicts emergence of several deadly viruses if Trump wins
ATLANTA—COVID-19 season is winding up, no it’s winding down, no the cases are skyrocketing but
Pelosi explains she was ‘just looking for the bar’ while at the salon without a face mask
SAN FRANCISCO—House Speaker Nancy Pelosi claims that she was “just looking for the bar” when