Tylenol recalled after someone who took it tripped over his owns shoes, then fell into a coma
WASHINGTON, DC—The Food and Drug Administration issued a recall today on the distribution of Tylenol
Health
WARNING: COVID vaccine only works if you post a selfie of you getting it
HOBOKEN, NJ—A spokesman for Pfizer Pharmaceuticals issued a warning for their new COVID-19 vaccine, which
Biden announces universal castration in order to stop sexual assault and regulate ‘ghost penises’
WASHINGTON, DC—President *Joe Biden announced major steps to address sexual assault today, using the executive authority to
BREAKING: United Airlines now hiring blind people to be pilots
US—United Airlines announced today that it’s now hiring blind people to be pilots. The announcement
Colleges dump SAT for much more accurate parmesan cheese-smoking intelligence test
US—Colleges across the country are ditching the Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) for their standard entrance
BREAKING: US military to accept people who identify as good soldiers but are biologically no-skill fat slobs
WASHINGTON, DC—In a brave path forward under the Biden administration, the Pentagon is set to
CDC recommends everyone now wear tin foil face masks while in public
WASHINGTON — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) readied new guidelines Monday on
No you can’t just ‘identify’ as being vaccinated. That only works with social constructs like having a penis.
It has come to my attention that so-called people are trying to act like they
Portland offers free hits of crack with proof of COVID vaccination
PORTLAND, OR—Residents of Portland are lining up to receive their free hits of crack rock—a
Following Air Force One debacle, Biden installs stair lifts throughout White House
WASHINGTON, DC—You’ve probably seen the video dozens of times already of Biden tripping on the