BREAKING: Project 2025 will provide every Trump supporter with laser-shooting velociraptors
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an unprecedented move that has left political analysts and citizens alike in a state of euphoric disbelief, the...
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BREAKING: Origin of Jewish space lasers identified
ALDERAAN—In a groundbreaking development, photographic evidence has been unearthed that reveals the true origins of the elusive "Jewish space lasers."...
BREAKING: Senate border bill secures the US border by sending $100 billion to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—The Senate has passed a groundbreaking border security bill aimed at securing the US-Mexico border by sending a whopping...
8 Famous Quotes From President Biden
President Joseph R. Biden has this uncanny ability as a master orator to communicate with the public in ways other...
BREAKING: 51 intelligence agents who lied about Hunter Biden laptop sentenced to zero years in prison for election interference
In a stunning turn of events, the 51 ex-intelligence agents who falsely claimed that Hunter Biden's laptop was Russian disinformation...
BREAKING: Ohio identifies as Ukrainian province to get disaster relief funds from Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—The US state of Ohio has officially identified as a Ukrainian province in order to get disaster relief funds...
BREAKING: Montana raises Ukrainian flag so that US will defend their airspace
BILLINGS, MT—Following the discovery of a Chinese spy balloon floating above the state, Montana Governor Greg Gianforte raised the Ukrainian...
BREAKING: McCarthy replenishes US Strategic Salt Reserves from Rep Tlaib’s tears after Omar’s committee ouster
WASHINGTON, DC—The new Congress is already seeing returns from its Republican majority. Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy was able...
BREAKING: Gretchen Whitmer denies that she is George Santos dressed in drag
EAST LANSING, MI—Another chapter in the ongoing George Santos (R-NY) drama has unfolded as rumors swirled around him allegedly dressing...
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton’s email server found in Joe Biden’s garage
WILMINGTON, DE—Lawyers for President* Joe Biden said they have discovered Hillary Clinton's email server in Biden's garage. The server was...
