Local Leftist Takes Break From Celebrating All Immigrants to Criticize One Particular Immigrant
PORTLAND, Ore. — In a rare departure from her usual advocacy, community organizer Marisol Vargas paused her longstanding campaign of...
Culture
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to not be a bigot on Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you're a Nazi bigot, so that's why most woke cultures and municipalities...
US House Chamber Turned Into Spirit Halloween
WASHINGTON — The House of Representatives, out of session long enough for the district work period to acquire a lease,...
Des Moines Woman Says She Discovered Miraculous Candy Corn
DES MOINES — A woman in central Iowa reported Thursday that a piece of candy corn in a newly opened...
Biblical Scholars Now Conclude that Judas’s 30 Pieces of Silver Were Supplied by USAID
JERUSALEM — A consortium of biblical historians and institutional-funding analysts announced Monday that the thirty pieces of silver paid to...
She Only Consented to the First 5 Guys in the Ketamine-Fueled Orgy You Sickos!
Let us dispense at once with the crude binary now dominating discussion of the October 2024 Chi Phi incident. The...
AOC: Religion, Patriarchy, and Homophobia are Evil, Unless You’re Muslim, In Which Case, They’re Diversity
Let me be crystal, like, structurally clear: religion, patriarchy, and homophobia are violence. Not “beliefs.” Violence. They are how power...
BREAKING: UK Terror suspects all released after explaining that terror is an expression of their religion
UNITED KINGDOM—Five men arrested near RAF Fairford on suspicion of preparing a terrorist act and explosives offences have been released...
Talarico: ‘We Should Mandate Abortions Unless Parent Pledges to Raise the Baby Trans’
AUSTIN — U.S. Senate candidate James Talarico said Saturday that the federal government should require abortions for American citizens unless...
Local Single Guy Complains to Father of 5 That He’s Been Really Busy Lately
US—A local single man reportedly expressed concern Wednesday that he has been “really busy lately,” prompting a brief and respectful...
