GOP to read Constitution aloud on House floor so they know ‘exactly what to ignore when they pass unconstitutional laws later on’
Kevin McCarthy said the entirety of the United States Constitution will be read on the first day of the new...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Biden says African Americans should be able to shop on more than just ‘Black Friday’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden is appalled that stores still have "Black Friday," nearly 60 years after the Civil Rights movement....
AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’
US—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was furious today after she learned that retailers and shopping outlets were still referring to the...
AOC: If gun control doesn’t work, then why aren’t there any shootings in gun-free zones?
This is so infuriating. Shame on the NRA. Shame on the GOP. Shame on Virginia! After another mass shooting—this time...
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Assassinated
John F. Kennedy, the 35th president of the United States, was mostly-peacefully assassinated on Friday, November 22, 1963, at 12:30 p.m. CST in Dallas, Texas, while riding...
Child Abuse Hotline volunteer shocked when Joe Biden tried to ‘place an order’
WASHINGTON, DC—A volunteer for the local Child Abuse Hotline service was shocked when she received a call from President* Joe...
BREAKING: Buffalo hammered with 6 feet of Global Warming over the weekend
BUFFALO, New York—New York residents in Buffalo and other parts of the state are waking this morning to up to...
Maricopa to produce theatrical version of ‘Dumb and Dumber’ to entertain while they count votes
PHOENIX—During a flawless election cycle in which upwards of 30% of voters were disenfranchised and has taken over a week...
WARNING: Call your doctor if your election is painful or lasts longer than 4 days
US—Physicians across the country are recommending a little red pill that does wonders for your election but warn that if...
