BREAKING: Biden mandates frontal lobotomies for all federal employees, citing science
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden called on state and local governments to use COVID-19 relief funds to give $100
Exavier Saskagoochie
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CNN: Biden draws mostly supportive crowd in Pennsylvania
(CNN) The most popular president in the history of the world, Joe Biden, drew a
Some female Olympians complain about ball-crushing uniforms after dominating performance
TOKYO—The Chinese Olympic track and field team has dominated all competition leading to the 2020
CDC opens ‘Faucitown’ where residents can drink vaccines mixed in Kool-Aid every day
FAUCITOWN, GA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have opened a village called Faucitown
It’s racist to include vaccinated people in COVID death data right now
COVID is not done. Not even close. As CNN and MSNBC have made very clear,
Lightfoot urges all Chicagoans to get vaccinated to keep everyone safe while shooting each other this weekend
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot made a public announcement, urging Chicagoans to get the COVID vaccine to
BREAKING: Kansas City Chiefs QB Mahomes demands team change name to KC White CEOs
KANSAS CITY, MO—Chiefs Quarterback Patrick Mahomes has left training camp and says he will “not
BREAKING: Dozens shocked that Democrat lawmakers won’t be held accountable
US—Dozens of people around the globe were shocked today to learn that multiple Democratic lawmakers
FBI: ‘Our top priority is keeping citizens safe from violent plots devised by us’
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has assured citizens that their “top priority is keeping citizens safe from
Experts confused why COVID cases are spiking in areas they’re sending untested immigrants
US—Health experts are utterly confused as to why cases of the deadly COVID virus are