Michigan’s White Witch cancels Christmas, launches the 100-year quarantine
EAST LANSING, MI—Michigan’s White Witch Gretchen Whitmer has officially launched the 100-year quarantine, emulating Los
Exavier Saskagoochie
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BREAKING: AG Barr doesn’t know what jumped up and bit him in the ass
WASHINGTON DC—US Attorney General Bill Barr says that he doesn’t know the thing that jumped
Brave celebrity comes out as a straight white male
HOLLYWOOD—No demographic receives more hate, especially in California, than straight white males. That’s why it’s
BREAKING: The FBI has found no evidence of election fraud after not looking for it
Attorney General William Barr said that the Justice Department has found no evidence of widespread
BREAKING: Dominion voting machines switched votes to Taco Bell in 2018 Best Mexican Food election
People were shocked when Taco Bell won Harris Poll’s “Best Mexican Food” election in 2018.
FBI requests evidence of election fraud so ‘it can be properly destroyed and utterly forgotten’
LANGLEY, VA–The Federal Bureau of Investigation has officially requested evidence of election fraud from the
UPDATE: Biden ankle injury caused by tripping over a box of fraudulent ballots in his basement
NEWARK, DE–The Office of the Pseudo-President has confirmed that Joe Biden was injured tripping over
BREAKING: Biden’s dog attacks him after learning he’s not a man but one of the lizard people
NEWARK, DE–Self-proclaimed President-Elect Joe Biden suffered a hairline fracture and bruised bones when his dog,
The Dead Voter nominated for Time Person of the Year
The Dead Voter, one of the most important components to the ongoing 2020 presidential election,
US Bishops release ‘King Biden Version’ Bible with complete ‘Book of Palms’
WASHINGTON DC—Following an apparent gaffe, when the devoutly Catholic Joe Biden accidentally said “the palmist”
