Costly Congresspeople to be replaced with automated tellers
Washington DC—The wave of automation has finally reached the nation's capitol as the entire US Congress and staff will be...
Politics
BREAKING: Truckers sneak hurricane relief into North Carolina by disguising aid as ‘Illegal Immigrants’ to outwit federal roadblocks
CHARLOTTE, NC — In a brazen display of disrespect to federal agencies, truckers across the U.S. have joined forces to...
Liz Cheney endorses Kamala Harris: ‘She will bomb countries I haven’t even thought of yet’
In a shocking twist that has sent shockwaves through the political universe and possibly several foreign nations, former Wyoming congresswoman...
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Kamala Harris enrolls all victims of Hurricane Helene in the Jelly of the Month Club
In a move that has left hurricane victims across North Carolina both confused and sticky-handed, Vice President Kamala Harris announced...
BREAKING: Harris reassures North Carolina hurricane victims that the US will be donating another $200 billion to Ukraine in their name
AUGUSTA, GA—In a deeply emotional press conference today, Vice President Kamala Harris addressed the people of North Carolina who are...
BREAKING: Never-before-seen photo from Tiananmen Square Massacre shows Tim Walz doing weird dance in front of tanks before being run over
In a shocking historical twist that no one saw coming (except for those watching the tanks), a never-before-seen photo has...
BREAKING: Newsom signs bill requiring photo ID to criticize another bill that allows people to vote without photo ID
SACRAMENTO, CA—In a groundbreaking move designed to "protect the integrity of free speech," California Governor Gavin Newsom has signed a...
BREAKING: Tim Walz confirms he will be using Tampax Pearl Super Plus tampons for tonight’s debate against JD Vance
In a bold move that is raising both eyebrows and awareness, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has announced that he will...
BREAKING: North Carolina changes its name to Ukraine to get federal funding after devastating Hurricane Helene
RALEIGH, NC—In a bold move to secure desperately needed federal funding in the wake of Hurricane Helene, North Carolina Governor...
Victims of Hurricane Helene identifying as illegal immigrants so they can get some federal aid from the Biden-Harris administration
ASHVILLE, NC—Victims of Hurricane Helene in North Carolina have discovered a clever life hack: identifying as illegal immigrants in order...
