We must absolutely BELIEVE ALL WOMEN (except for Lindsay Clancy when she says she did it)
Distinguished Fellow in Selective EpistemologyCenter for Progressive Consistency Studies In an age of moral clarity, one principle has emerged as...
Stories
AOC: I froze my eggs in case I wanted to get an abortion later in life
A little while ago I made a quiet decision that feels, to me, like the most responsible thing I’ve done...
AOC: If socialism doesn’t work, why are all my socialist friends in DC multi-millionaires?
WASHINGTON, DC—Friends, I had another deep thought that I'd like to share. Lots of idiots out there say that socialism...
BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage situation
CENTURY CITY, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an LAPD...
Mona Lisa Get Ready With Me Video
Big News from Genesius Times We’ve spared no expense to bring in top-tier talent for our new Beauty & Style...
MEMORIAL DAY: Nation mourns George Floyd who died when his spaceship exploded in 2020
US—This Memorial Day, the nation is mourning NASA legend George Floyd who died two years ago when his spaceship exploded...
EXCLUSIVE: George Floyd celebrates 5 years of sobriety
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—George Floyd, patron saint of fentanyl, celebrated four consecutive drug-free years today. Mr. Floyd famously quit taking drugs following his...
Local college grad says it’s ‘impossible’ to find a job these days
In a world where individuality and creative expression are celebrated, there exists a young college graduate who has taken the...
Biden recalls Kwanzaa memories growing up in Scranton, PA
WASHINGTON, DC—In a heartwarming trip down memory lane, President* Joe Biden regaled the audience at the White House Kwanzaa celebration...
AOC vows to fight capitalism by only using lowercase letters
Capitalism has been way too successful at creating wealth across demographics for two centuries and democratic socialists like Rep. Alexandria...
