HOLLYWOOD HILLS — Oprah Winfrey, queen of daytime television and undisputed gatekeeper of celebrity culture, has outdone herself once again by hosting the most exclusive and controversial reunion of the year: a star-studded gathering of Hollywood elite once affiliated with none other than disgraced producer Harvey Weinstein. And the cause? Nothing short of drumming up support for Vice President Kamala Harris’s 2024 presidential campaign.

Dubbed the “Weinstein & Friends Unity Gala,” the event took place at a sprawling, secretive estate in the Hollywood Hills, where privacy was as tight as the A-list guest list. Attendees included some of the most familiar faces from Weinstein’s past, all rallying behind Harris in what they called a “fresh start” for Hollywood and America alike.

“Look, we all make mistakes,” said Oprah, the evening’s host and emotional anchor, speaking to a select few reporters allowed to cover the event. “But tonight isn’t about the past—it’s about supporting Kamala Harris. She’s going to bring unity to this country, just like we’re bringing unity to this room.”

Among the attendees were household names like Quentin Tarantino, who toasted the night with a glass of vintage wine, and Meryl Streep, who arrived with her signature Goop gift bags filled with artisanal sage smudge sticks to help cleanse the “energy” of the controversial occasion. As the crowd gathered in the lavish ballroom, the atmosphere was brimming with “forgive and forget” vibes.

Despite the troubling history surrounding Weinstein and his notorious “circle,” the night carried on with business as usual. Chris Rock, seated at a VIP table, quipped that the reunion was “just like the good ol’ days,” though he quickly added, “But this time, it’s all about Kamala. She’s the future.”

Winfrey, with her characteristic charisma, kept the mood light and upbeat, seamlessly glossing over the elephant in the room as she announced a silent auction in Harris’s honor. Items up for grabs included a private screening of a Weinstein-produced film (before his fall from grace, naturally) and a “Lunch with Oprah” package, with proceeds going directly to Kamala’s campaign.

The main event of the evening came when Oprah introduced a surprise guest via Zoom—Harvey Weinstein himself, live from prison. “I’m proud to support Kamala,” said Weinstein, beaming from his cell. “And Oprah, thanks for inviting me—even if I’m here virtually!” The virtual applause echoed through the room as guests, some of whom had mysteriously forgotten their past grievances, clapped enthusiastically.

For her part, Kamala Harris delivered a prerecorded message that was projected onto a massive screen at the gala. “I’m so honored to have the support of such a distinguished group,” she said, not-so-subtly ignoring the troubling implications of the evening’s guest list. “Together, we can bring change to America, just as Hollywood has changed… over time.” Her laughter, as always, was met with wild applause.

The event concluded with Oprah personally thanking every guest for attending and for their “unwavering support” of Harris, while reassuring the media that the night was purely about “unity” and moving forward. “This is about creating a new narrative,” she said. “Kamala represents that.”

As limos whisked away the remaining celebrities under the cover of night, one thing was clear: Kamala Harris had gained the most unusual and morally flexible support yet for her 2024 run, and Oprah once again proved that when it comes to orchestrating the perfect PR stunt, nothing—not even a controversial reunion—is off the table.

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Jeremy Spoken

None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.

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