Washington D.C. – In a move that has sent shockwaves through the advertising world, former President Donald Trump, now the 47th President of the United States, has signed an executive order reversing years of diversity in commercials. The order, titled “Make Ads Great Again,” mandates that at least 90% of actors in television commercials must be straight, white individuals.

At a press conference held in the Oval Office, surrounded by an all-white, all-male choir singing “God Bless America,” Trump declared, “We’ve seen enough of the rainbow coalition selling us soap. It’s time to bring back the real America to our TV screens. From now on, if you’re buying a car, you’ll see John from Ohio, not Juan from Miami or Ji from San Francisco.”

Critics of the order argue that this is a blatant step backward in social progress. “This isn’t just about representation; it’s about erasing the diversity that reflects our nation,” said Dr. Emily Rodriguez, a sociologist specializing in media representation. “This executive order might as well be called ‘The Homogenization of America.'”

Advertising agencies across the country have been thrown into chaos, with many scrambling to recast their ongoing projects. “We had a commercial shoot scheduled with a diverse group of actors for a new laundry detergent,” said an anonymous ad executive. “Now, we have to go find a bunch of Brad and Chads to scrub those stains out.”

The move has found some support among conservative groups, who have been vocal about their dissatisfaction with what they call “forced diversity.” “Finally, a commercial where I can see someone who looks like me, someone who could be my neighbor or cousin,” exclaimed Mike Johnson, a supporter at a rally celebrating the order.

However, the backlash has been swift and fierce. Social media platforms are flooded with hashtags like #DiversityMatters and #BoycottMAGAads, with many users vowing to boycott products that adhere to the new guidelines. A group of actors and actresses from various backgrounds has announced plans to sue, claiming the order violates their rights to equal employment opportunities.

In response to the criticism, the White House issued a statement saying, “This executive order isn’t about exclusion; it’s about inclusion of the majority. We’re just leveling the playing field back to what it was when America was great.”

Meanwhile, in a bizarre twist, some smaller companies are already jumping on the bandwagon, with one local car dealership running an ad featuring a quintessentially American family, complete with a golden retriever named MAGA. The ad ends with the slogan, “Drive Like Your Grandparents Did.”

As the nation braces for a flood of commercials reminiscent of the 1950s, one thing is clear: the advertising industry, like it or not, has been thrown back to a time when variety was not the spice of life but rather, a scarce seasoning.

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