In an effort to become more universally inclusive, the Democratic National Convention has kicked off a new program that pairs transvestites with freshman congresspeople. Along with ever-growing concerns around inclusivity, the DNC hopes that the proper tranny pairing can strengthen various policy matters that the Democratic Party perceives as weaknesses in their young Representatives.

For instance, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is known around the beltway for being “extremely economically illiterate” therefore the DNC has coupled her with a young tranny star, who graduated summa cum draggie, from the Academy of Clowns, Cosmetology, and Economics (ACCE). The hope being that AOC may learn to love better and also let go of some of her extremely retarded policy proposals.

Progressives, who represent the most important base of the Democratic Party, love this initiative. And who am I kidding? This is a brilliant moment for a brilliant political coalition. Trannies are the future, and the DNC is hoisting them front and center in their war against bigotry.

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Earnest O'Connor

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