The American Psychiatric Association recently published its guidelines for men and boys, which declared “traditional masculinity” a disease as it is harmful. It states that “traditional masculinity ideology” has been show to “limit males’ psychological development, constrain their behavior, result in gender role strain and gender role conflict, and negatively influence mental and physical health.”

As a result, millions of healthy and capable men have dropped out of the workforce and applied for disability insurance benefits, leaving their jobs as CEOs of multinational companies, oil rig operators, coal plant workers, truck drivers, and fishermen.

The void of rugged men from the workforce has caused an utter economic collapse, and the entire society has come to a complete standstill.

“There’s no gas, no food, and all my stocks are plummeting,” feminist psychologist Patricia Attkins said of the collapse. “I just don’t understand it.”

“No one has picked up my trash in over three weeks! And my plumbing is backed up again and no one can come repair it for me!” yelled a shrill woman wearing a shirt claiming, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”

The spike in SSDI expenditures will bankrupt the country within 6 weeks.

Beta male and feminist ally, Brice Furlough, added a positive twist. “We don’t need these toxic masculine men in the workforce! We can survive without them. We should put them away in group homes for barbarians,” he said as the power went out at Starbucks. “We can do without electricity too!”

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Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

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