AOC stumbles into grocery store deodorant aisle, is rattled by the horrors of capitalism

AOC’s day started like any other. The hashtagtavist turned progressive darling logged some important hours in front of her Twitter page and then ventured out into the world. Realizing she had run out of milk and eggs she made a stop at her local grocery store.

This is where her day spiraled out of control. In a hurry, AOC took a shortcut to the dairy aisle that went through the store’s massive display of deodorants. She began sobbing at the literal overabundance of choice in the aisle. “How can anyone ever decide what deodorant to use when there are so many options? Capitalism is so evil!”

It was a startling wake-up call for AOC. “How can an economic system without a single breadline, and this many deodorants be considered moral. How can we call ourselves a compassionate society when the government does not ration anything? If it isn’t bread then surely it should be deodorant.”

She immediately ran home, with the fervor of a disciple, and drafted legislation to ration deodorants. She’s calling it AOC 4 Choice and limiting so many options.


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