BREAKING: All global sex trafficking halted as Facebook suffers outage

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—All global sex trafficking operations have been halted as the social media giant Facebook and its subsidiaries Instagram and Whatsapp are down.

“We are trying feverishly to get our services back up and online so that the businesses and sex traffickers can continue using them,” Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said in a statement.

Facebook provides services for nearly all of the world’s sex traffickers according to a recent poll by the Pew Pew Center, making today’s outage particularly difficult.

This story is being updated. Check back soon.

Loading

"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.