BREAKING: Keith Olbermann suffers rare TDS complication of urinating out of his eyes

NEW YORK—In a shocking development, renowned political commentator Keith Olbermann has been diagnosed with a rare and previously unheard-of complication of Trump derangement syndrome (TDS): urinating out of his eyes. The diagnosis has sent shockwaves through the medical community and sparked debate over the long-term effects of chronic political discord.

Dr. Henry Jones, lead researcher on the case, describes the condition as “a bizarre and unexpected manifestation of the body’s response to prolonged exposure to politically charged content.” He goes on to explain that “in Mr. Olbermann’s case, the constant barrage of anti-Trump rhetoric has seemingly caused his tear ducts to malfunction, resulting in the expulsion of bodily fluids from his eyes.”

Olbermann, who has long been an outspoken critic of the Trump administration, has reportedly taken the diagnosis in stride, stating that he is “willing to suffer for the cause” and that he “wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

This unprecedented side effect has sparked a heated debate among medical professionals, with some questioning the validity of TDS as a legitimate diagnosis. However, Dr. Jones stands by his findings, stating that “while this may be an extreme example, it is not beyond the realm of possibility that political discourse can have physical manifestations.”

Despite the controversy, Olbermann’s fans have rallied around him, expressing their support on social media and praising his resilience in the face of adversity. As news of the diagnosis spreads, it remains to be seen whether this will serve as a cautionary tale for other political pundits or simply become another footnote in the annals of TDS history.

In a statement released to the press, Olbermann vowed to continue his fight against the Trump administration, stating that “if this is the price I have to pay for standing up for what’s right, then so be it.”

A source close to Olbermann said that he is considering changing his name to I.P. Daily.

As he bravely battles this rare and mysterious ailment, one thing is certain: Keith Olbermann’s dedication to his cause is both inspiring and, quite literally, eye-opening.


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