In a bizarre turn of events, a fervent supporter of former President Donald Trump has hatched an ingenious plan to evade FBI surveillance. He decided to don the disguise of a Hamas terrorist, believing it would be the ultimate camouflage to divert attention away from his activities.
“It’s simple really,” the man explained in a video posted to social media while wearing a makeshift keffiyeh and wielding a toy rocket launcher. “I figured if I could convince the FBI that I’m an international terrorist, they’d have bigger fish to fry.”
Friends and family members have expressed their concerns, with one relative stating, “We thought he’d lost his mind. He even started reading up on Middle Eastern politics and trying to speak Arabic. It’s like he’s auditioning for a low-budget action movie.”
To further sell his newfound persona, the Trump supporter reportedly started sending emails with subject lines like “Jihad Training Camp This Weekend?” and “Let’s Blow Up Some Sandcastles,” only to include vacation photos from the local beach.
When asked about the rationale behind this elaborate ruse, the man insisted, “I’m just trying to protect my privacy, like any good patriot should. The FBI has no business knowing how many times I’ve watched ‘The Apprentice’ or how many MAGA hats I own.”
However, experts remain skeptical about the effectiveness of this tactic. “Disguising oneself as a terrorist group member to avoid FBI scrutiny is not only dangerous but also entirely counterproductive,” explained a former intelligence analyst. “It’s like trying to evade a speeding ticket by dressing up as a traffic cone. It’s not going to work, and you’re only going to draw more attention to yourself.”
Nonetheless, the Trump supporter remains resolute, declaring that he’ll continue his unconventional quest for privacy. “I’ve already ordered a fake Osama bin Laden beard and turban online,” he announced with an air of determination. “They’ll never see me coming.”
As of now, the FBI has made no official statements regarding this peculiar situation, leaving many to wonder whether this disguise will be enough to outfox the watchful eyes of the nation’s top law enforcement agency.