Lori Lightfoot to return to Mos Eisley cantina full time after mayoral loss to be with her people

MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE—Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot has returned to the Mos Eisley cantina on the planet of Tatooine, just weeks after losing the mayoral race to be with her people.

Sources say that Lightfoot was seen sipping a blue milk cocktail while chatting with various alien species in the notorious cantina, known for its seedy reputation and frequent bar brawls.

When questioned about her return to the cantina, Lightfoot stated, “I just longed to be with my bug-eyed lizard people again. And after spending years dealing with the politics of Chicago, I figured I could handle anything the Mos Eisley cantina could throw at me.”

While some have criticized Lightfoot for what they see as a bizarre career move, others have applauded her for embracing her love of sci-fi and adventure.

“Lori Lightfoot definitely belongs in the Star Wars universe,” said one fan. “Who knows what kind of adventures she’ll have with other strange-looking aliens.”

Of course, there are those who worry that Lightfoot’s return to the cantina could be a sign of a deeper, more concerning trend.

“Is this the kind of person we want representing our city?” asked one critic. “Someone who would rather hang out with bounty hunters and 12-eyed smugglers than focus on the needs of her constituents?”

Only time will tell what the future holds for Lightfoot and her new life in the Mos Eisley cantina. But for now, it seems that she’s enjoying the intergalactic ride.


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