Biden: ‘Thanksgiving is cheaper this year thanks to our depopulation agenda’
In a surprising twist of holiday cheer, President Joe Biden has declared that Thanksgiving dinners are more affordable this year, all thanks to the government’s ongoing depopulation agenda. In a press conference that left reporters gobsmacked (no pun intended), Biden touted the unintended economic benefits of the mysterious plan to reduce the population.
“Good news, folks! Your Thanksgiving dinners are going to be more budget-friendly this year, and it’s all thanks to our incredibly successful depopulation efforts,” President Biden proudly announced, as a perplexed turkey mascot looked on in bewilderment. “Less mouths to feed means cheaper dinners!”
The President, in an attempt to sprinkle a bit of optimism on the unusual revelation, continued, “We’ve streamlined the family gatherings, made more room at the table, and saved you money on cranberry sauce. It’s a win-win!”
Reporters, caught off guard by the unexpected link between depopulation and lower Thanksgiving costs, pressed for more details. Biden, with a sly grin, responded, “Look, it’s simple math. Less family members mean fewer mouths to feed, fewer pies to bake, and fewer awkward conversations about politics. It’s like a Thanksgiving miracle.”
However, skeptics have raised concerns about the ethics and transparency of the depopulation agenda. One reporter asked, “Mr. President, can you clarify what you mean by ‘depopulation agenda’? It sounds a bit, well, ominous.”
Biden, donning a festive turkey hat, responded, “Oh, it’s just a little something we’re working on to create more ‘breathing room,’ so to speak. A leaner, meaner Thanksgiving – that’s what America needs right now.”
As the nation collectively tries to digest the unexpected link between family gatherings and government population control, some citizens are expressing mixed emotions. “I’m not sure if I should be grateful for the cheaper Thanksgiving or concerned about the depopulation agenda,” remarked one bewildered American, eyeing the turkey on the table suspiciously.
In the spirit of holiday unity, President Biden concluded the press conference by wishing everyone a “cost-effective and lightly-populated Thanksgiving.” As the nation contemplates the implications of this newfound connection, one thing is for certain – the holidays have never been so economically perplexing.
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