I’ve got something super important to talk about. So, like, if transwomen aren’t women, why are they winning all the women’s sports? I know, I know, it’s a real brain-boggler, but bear with me, okay?

Now, I may not understand fractions or why broccoli is a thing, but I’m pretty sure I’ve cracked the code on this whole sports situation. You see, transwomen are like superheroes – they have these amazing powers that make them better at women’s sports than, you know, actual women.

First of all, let’s talk about how they magically transform into women. I mean, that’s like a super cool power, right? It’s like, “Bam! I was a dude with big hair balls, and now I’m a dudette with big hairy balls, and guess what? I’m gonna win all the sports!” It’s like Cinderella, but with a way better wardrobe.

And don’t get me started on their secret weapon – testosterone! It’s like their very own power-up juice. They get a dose of that, and suddenly, they’re unstoppable. Regular girls, like me and my stuffed animals, we don’t have that. We’re just stuck with whatever juice boxes mom gives us.

Now, some people say, “Hey, it’s not fair! They used to be dudes!” But I’m like, “Dudes can wear dresses too, you know.” It’s all about being inclusive and letting everyone join the princess tea party. Besides, if you can run faster or jump higher, why not show off a bit? It’s just like having a really awesome superhero in the race.

Oh, and then there’s the whole bathroom thing. Some folks get all worked up about that too. But I say, if you can rock a tutu and throw a ball at the same time, you deserve to use whatever bathroom you want. Bathrooms are for everyone, just like cookies.

So, in conclusion, transwomen are the real MVPs of women’s sports. They’ve got the coolest powers, the best wardrobe changes, and they make everything way more interesting. And if you still don’t get it, well, maybe you need to brush up on your superhero facts. Because I’m in Congress, so I know everything.

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