Breaking: Bill Clinton Adopts Eric Swalwell: “He’s The Son I Never Had”
Little Rock, AR – In a move described by insiders as both “heartwarming” and “legally inventive,” former President Bill Clinton...
Robert L. Peters, Jr.
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Rep Hank Johnson Warns Trump ‘The Whole Island of Iran Will Capsize If Troops Sent In’
WASHINGTON — Fearing for the lives of thousands of Marines, Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) urgently advised the Trump administration Tuesday...
NY Times Wins Pulitzer For Nailing 3 Out of 4 Words In ‘NATO’
NEW YORK — In a stunning display of journalistic precision that left the industry breathless, The New York Times was...
France To Advise Iran On How To Surrender With Dignity
Paris, France — In a bold diplomatic initiative that has left international observers alternately baffled and unsurprised, President Emmanuel Macron...
Women Too Stupid To Get I.D. Relieved To Not Have To Vote Anymore
In a stunning development hailed as both liberating and patriotic, millions of American women have reportedly been freed from the...
‘$3 Gas is Outrageous!’ Says Woman Happy To Pay $5 Under Biden
Local resident Cora Upshin, a dedicated Democrat and self-described "principled consumer," took to X this week to voice her profound...
Mamdani Vows to ‘Solve the Homeless Problem with One More Deep Freeze’
NEW YORK CITY — In a press conference held amid swirling snow flurries and the faint scent of victory (or...
BREAKING: Dangerous Cold Weather Closes Schools So Kids Can Go Sledding
In a stunning display of progressive parenting and climate awareness, public schools across the northern United States shuttered their doors...
Cinnabon Removes the ‘N’s’ to Prove they Aren’t Racist
Atlanta, GA – In a groundbreaking act of corporate virtue that no one asked for, Cinnabon announced Tuesday that it...
Congress To Fix Nation By Working Almost 100 Days Next Year
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold display of legislative masochism, House Minority Leader Steve Scalise proudly unveiled the 2026 Congressional...
