MAR-A-LAGO, FL—In a surprising turn of events that has left pundits scratching their heads and citizens divided, former President Donald Trump has made a shocking promise: if he wins the presidency again, he will promptly leave the country.

The announcement, made during a rambling speech at a local golf club, caught many by surprise, with some questioning the logic behind such a bold statement.

“People who are thinking about voting for Sleepy Joe, I just want to say, if Donald Trump is elected, I will leave the country. So, you should really vote for me. it’s a win-win!”

The prospect of Trump’s departure has sparked a flurry of speculation and debate, with some eagerly anticipating the possibility of a Trump-free future, while others express concern about the potential consequences of his absence.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I might actually vote for Trump if it means he’ll leave the country,” admitted one reluctant voter. “I mean, anything to get him out of here, right?”

Meanwhile, Trump’s political opponents have seized on the announcement as further evidence of his unsuitability for office, with some even launching “Trump for President” campaigns in a bid to hasten his departure.

“It’s the ultimate self-own,” chuckled one Democratic strategist. “I mean, who in their right mind would vote for someone who doesn’t even want to be here?”

As the election season heats up and Trump’s promise looms large in the public consciousness, one thing is certain: in the unpredictable world of politics, anything can happen, even the prospect of a president who’s already planning his exit strategy.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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