PARIS—France has announced that it is eager to join the ongoing conflict between Ukraine and Russia, expressing a fervent desire to surrender to one side or the other as soon as possible.

“We have been watching the war between Ukraine and Russia with great interest,” said French President Emmanuel Macron in a statement to the press. “And we have decided that we would like to join the conflict, so that we can finally surrender to someone and put an end to this terrible conflict.”

The decision, which has left political analysts and military experts alike utterly baffled, has been met with a mixture of confusion and disbelief, with many questioning whether this is really the best course of action for the country.

“Joining a war just so that you can surrender to one side or the other is a clear violation of the principle of self-preservation,” said one political analyst, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “It’s not exactly a bold or innovative move, and it’s certainly not going to win over any undecided voters.”

Despite the backlash, Macron remains defiant, and he has vowed to continue pushing for France’s inclusion in the conflict, no matter what the consequences may be.

“I am proud to be leading my country into this new and exciting chapter of its history,” he said in a recent interview. “Together, we will show the world that the French spirit is still alive and well, and that we are not afraid to surrender to anyone who asks.”

In the end, only time will tell whether France’s decision to join the Ukraine-Russia war will prove successful, or whether it will go down in history as yet another example of the country’s unorthodox and unpredictable approach to international relations. But one thing is certain: its willingness to think outside the box and take bold, decisive action is sure to inspire a new generation of leaders, and to remind us all that sometimes, the most effective solutions to our problems are the ones that are the most unconventional.

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