During the COVID-19 crisis, we’ve seen unprecedented action on behalf of the American people to save lives. Yesterday, Americans have gone even further to protect the country by closing Congress, firing each member of the House and Senate, and send them a one-time check for $1,200.

“Since all non-essentials are being canceled, we thought it best, as a country, to shut down Congress and fire all the workers,” Sam Eagle, spokesman for America said. “Unfortunately, all of their pay and benefits will be immediately and indefinitely suspended for the good of the country.”

The decision to cancel Congress was a difficult on, Eagle said, because of how many moochers rely on Congress.

“There are so many leeches and moochers that rely on keeping Congress open, but really, we can’t take any chances,” Eagle said.

“But we understand that this is a hard time for members of the House and Senate as they’re used to over $14,500 a month of taxpayer money, so we decided to send them a one-time check of $1,200. That should hold them over until we reinstate Congress, if we ever do. It’s going to save America billions.”

Experts say that Congress may never be reinstated until there is a vaccine against congressional overreach and spending.

“It’s just too risky to let them loose in the world spending other people’s money,” Eagle added.

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