Everyone’s making a big deal about Dutch farmers uniting and the possibility that they may “stop working” because of the government mandates.

But I’m not worried.

Why should I be? Farmers don’t do anything for me. They play around in dirt and drive big tractors all day, getting in my way when I’m trying to escape Washington for a Florida vacation.

No, farmers don’t do anything for me. I don’t get anything from Amazon and I get all my food from grocery stores, not farmers. This is a very important point.

Farmers just drive around all day polluting the atmosphere and making horrible noises. They don’t do ANYTHING!

So, no I’m not afraid if they stop “working”.

So, to all the farmers out there considering this so-called strike: go ahead. Take a break. Spend some time away from the fields. You deserve it. Meanwhile, the rest of us will be just fine, picking up our groceries from the store as usual.

I mean, after all, I’ve never seen a farmer in the grocery store stocking shelves or checking out customers. Clearly, they’re not involved in the food supply chain. It’s time we recognize that the real heroes are the grocery store employees and the delivery drivers who bring the food right to our doorsteps.

Let’s embrace the future, where our food magically appears on the shelves, untainted by dirt or hard labor. Farmers, enjoy your time off. The grocery stores have got this covered.

It would make my life so much easier!

_{Originally published July 11, 2022.}

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