NASA Announces George Floyd as Backup Crew Member for Artemis III Lunar Landing
Houston, TX – In a bold move to promote inclusivity and “lived experience” in space exploration, NASA confirmed Tuesday that...
Month: March 2026
Politicians 40+ Years in Office Loudly Declare “No Kings” About Guy in Office for 14 Months
WASHINGTON — In a stunning display of constitutional vigilance, a coalition of Democratic lawmakers who have collectively occupied their seats...
Democrats Stage Massive Protests to Save Democracy by Overthrowing Democratically Elected President
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stirring display of democratic fervor, thousands of Democrats took to the streets this weekend to...
Millions Gather for “No Queens” March in California and Minnesota
Los Angeles/Saint Paul – In scenes of shocking civility, an estimated 14 million Americans descended on the streets of Los...
Retired ‘Expert Frisker’ Volunteers at TSA to Combat Staffing Shortages
WASHINGTON — Citing chronic underfunding and a “devastating” shortage of qualified airport security personnel, the Transportation Security Administration announced Monday...
BREAKING: Thune floats discussing several strongly-worded letters about maybe doing something for the American people in two weeks
Washington, D.C. – In a bold escalation of rhetorical force, Senate Majority Leader John Thune (R-SD) today solemnly pledged to...
BREAKING: White smoke in Tel Aviv indicates that Israel has chosen a new OnlyFans CEO
TEL AVIV — In a development that has left both religious scholars and content creators equally bewildered, thick plumes of...
France To Advise Iran On How To Surrender With Dignity
Paris, France — In a bold diplomatic initiative that has left international observers alternately baffled and unsurprised, President Emmanuel Macron...
Mamdani Builds $12 Billion ‘Wealth Containment Wall’ Around NYC to Stop Taxpayers From Leaving
NEW YORK — In an emergency mayoral address broadcast from the steps of Gracie Mansion—flanked by a newly installed bronze...
Trump Appoints Afroman Chief Negotiator in Iran Conflict to Deploy Custom Diss Tracks in Bid to Force Regime Surrender
WASHINGTON, DC—In a personnel decision described by White House officials as “unconventional but tremendously effective,” President Donald Trump today appointed...
