APA adds ‘knowing Clintons’ to DSM as leading risk factor of suicide

The American Psychological Association has updated its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) with a minor entry, adding ‘knowing Clintons’ to the leading risk factors for suicide.

“It was impossible to ignore the data anymore,” Franz Kafka, APA President said. “Knowing Bill and or Hillary Clinton is one of the leading risk factors for suicide across the board— beating out depression and opioid addiction combined.”

The condition is being called Clintons induced suicide disorder.

This move comes after another Clinton friend, Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide while under suicide watch in a Manhattan prison.

“The correlation is so strong that Clinton friends will commit suicide even when they’re being monitored to prevent that. It’s like Houdini suicides,” Kafka added.

There’s potential that the condition also is contagious as people who come into close contact with people who know Clintons also commit suicide.

On a positive note, ‘knowing Clintons’ has also led to major financial gain for several unsavory characters.


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