Congress unveils statue of Jamaal Bowman pulling fire alarm in Capitol Rotunda
WASHINGTON, DC—The Congress has unveiled a new statue of outgoing Congressman Jamaal Bowman pulling a fire alarm, commemorating his unique...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
New rules for CNN debate: Trump will be in a sound-proof glass room and only be able to respond using sign language
ATLANTA—In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, CNN has announced that it will be implementing new rules for its...
FBI Reports ‘Crime is Way Down’ After Changing the Definition of Crime to Exclude Murder and Theft
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has reported that crime is "way down" in the United States, after changing the definition of crime...
BREAKING: Hunter Biden guilty verdict overturned after 300,000 not guilty votes were found at 3am
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, Hunter Biden's guilty verdict on gun charges has been overturned after 300,000...
Democrats terrified that if Trump is elected, he’ll do exactly what they’re doing to him and his supporters
US—Democrats have become increasingly terrified that if Donald Trump is elected president again, he will do exactly what they're doing...
Activists furious that people are driving on the rainbow murals they painted on streets where cars go
US--LGBTQFJB+ activists around the country are livid after it has become apparent that people are driving over the murals they...
First pile of feces who identifies as a beautiful woman is crowned Miss America
Chet, the first human turd who identified as a beautiful woman, has been crowned Miss America, in a groundbreaking and...
Biden: ‘The true heroes of D-Day were the drag queens and trans activists’
In a stunning announcement, President Joe Biden has taken a bold step to reshape the historical narrative of World War...
BREAKING: Dems warn that if Trump’s elected, he may try to close the border and prevent WWIII
In a startling revelation, Democratic strategists are sounding the alarm, cautioning voters that if Donald Trump is reelected, he might...
Local drag queens to host story hour at maximum security prison to prove that they’re not just groomers
Several local drag queens have announced plans to host a story hour at a maximum-security prison, in an effort to...
