WASHINGTON, DC—Josef Stealin Biden will keep the National Guard troops stationed around the nation’s capital there until March in order to make sure it doesn’t look like a military coup.

The announcement comes as The White House and United States Capitol have already been fenced off following the January 6th riot — National Guard troops also remain in the area.

“If you were mad about what we did to steal the election, just wait ’til you see what comes after we’ve buried all our political enemies,” Biden said at a press conference before shuffling off and muttering something unintelligible.

The show impeachment trial of former President Donald Trump is scheduled to begin on February 9th and may last until sometime in March.

“Um, we need troops in and around DC to make it look like we didn’t just conduct a military coup. It’s totally working,” White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said. “But I will circle back with you on the details once you’re arrested for having questioned this administration.”

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