BREAKING: Armed Venezuelan gangs set up Harris-Walz campaign office in Denver apartment complex
DENVER, CO – In a surprising twist on grassroots campaigning, armed Venezuelan gangs have taken the initiative to open a Harris-Walz campaign office inside a local Denver apartment complex. The office, located conveniently between the laundry room and the mailboxes, is reportedly abuzz with excitement and the occasional gunfire.
“We’re just here to support the candidates who have supported us,” said gang leader Javier “El Jefe” Ramirez, donning a Harris-Walz 2024 t-shirt over his tactical vest. “Kamala helped us get across the border, so now we help her cross the finish line. It’s only fair.”
The pop-up office offers free ballots, campaign swag, and “ballot-harvesting assistance.” Posters featuring Kamala Harris smiling awkwardly and Tim Walz looking lost now plaster the walls of the building, right next to the “No Loitering” signs.
Residents of the apartment complex seem divided over the new political outpost. “I thought this was America,” said one tenant, shaking his head while watching campaign workers hand out ballots and machetes. “But I guess if you want to survive, you gotta vote Harris-Walz.”
Local authorities have been mum on the legality of the operation, with one police officer commenting, “They’re doing more voter outreach than we’ve seen from any other campaign, so, kudos, I guess?”
The Harris-Walz campaign has yet to formally endorse the new office but sources confirm Kamala Harris was overheard saying, “As long as they vote for us, what’s the problem?”
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