WASHINGTON, DC—Aides to President* Joe Biden have been accused of sabotaging him by allowing him to hold a press conference well past his bedtime.
The incident occurred late Thursday evening, when Biden, apparently unaware of the time, took to the podium in the White House briefing room to field questions from reporters following the release of the Special Counsel report. What followed was a surreal display of confusion and nonsensical rambling, as Biden struggled to stay awake and coherent.
“It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion,” remarked one bewildered journalist who was present at the press conference. “Biden kept nodding off mid-sentence, and at one point, he started reciting the lyrics to ‘Old MacDonald Had a Farm’.”
As the press conference wore on, it became increasingly apparent that Biden was not in his usual form. His answers to questions ranged from incoherent mumbling to outright gibberish, leaving reporters and aides alike struggling to make sense of his ramblings.
“It was like he was speaking a different language,” remarked one aide who wished to remain anonymous. “At one point, he started talking about his favorite flavor of ice cream, and then he started reciting passages from ‘The Cat in the Hat’.”
The incident has sparked speculation that Biden’s aides may have intentionally allowed him to hold the press conference well past his bedtime in order to undermine his credibility and embarrass him on the world stage.
“It’s a classic case of political sabotage,” declared one political analyst. “By letting Biden speak to the press when he’s clearly not at his best, his aides have effectively thrown him under the bus and made him look like a fool.”
In response to the allegations, the White House has issued a statement denying any wrongdoing and insisting that Biden is perfectly capable of carrying out his duties as president.
“President Biden is a strong and capable leader who is fully capable of handling the responsibilities of his office,” the statement read. “Any suggestion that his aides would intentionally sabotage him is absurd and unfounded.”
As the fallout from the press conference continues to unfold, one thing is abundantly clear: the incident has raised serious questions about Biden’s fitness to lead, and whether his aides are truly acting in his best interests or their own.