In a move that many analysts had predicted for months, Everyone’s mother officially put her name in the Democratic primary hat to bring down the despised Republican president.
With her candidacy, it now means that everyone and their mother is now running against Trump for the 2020 election.
“Everyone wants to beat Trump,” Everyone’s mother said at her campaign kickoff. “And I think I have just the right amount of diversity and self-loathing to win the Democratic ticket.”
Everyone’s mother is 103 years old and senile, but thinks she has a chance to win because “You have to be crazy to vote for Trump.”
Reuters have recently leased IBM’s Watson to compile the full list of Democratic candidates, which is now said to be larger than the number of particles in the known universe.
Politicos estimate that approximately $14 quadrillion will be spent in what’s being called the largest political effort in the history of the planet.
“There might be a better use of that money,” Everyone’s mother said, “like feeding the homeless or tearing down and rebuilding the Interstate Highway System. But in the end none of that matters as long as Trump is president.”