BREAKING: Harris picks ‘Hawk Tuah’ Girl for VP
In a move that has turned the political world upside down, Vice President Kamala Harris has announced the “Hawk Tuah” chick as her running mate for the upcoming 2024 election.
“We just have so much in common. It’s like we are kindred spirits,” Harris gushed at the press conference. “When looking for a V.P., I felt I needed someone who shares my world view. She really is a woman after my own heart.”
The “Hawk Tuah” Girl, known for her viral moment of explaining her sexual exploits involving expectoration to millions of people, has quickly become a symbol of bold, unfiltered expression. Harris’ campaign team has wasted no time in rolling out their new slogan: “Spit on that Thing – 2024.”
Journalists scrambled to get a word from the newly minted vice-presidential candidate. When asked for a comment, the “Hawk Tuah” Girl simply said, “Hawk Tuah.”
Political analysts are baffled by the choice. “It’s unprecedented,” said one analyst. “But then again, so was the original ‘Hawk Tuah’ moment.”
The internet has predictably exploded with reactions. Memes, hashtags, and video remixes are flooding social media, as the public tries to make sense of this unexpected pairing.
Supporters of the Harris-“Hawk Tuah” ticket are excited about the fresh and unconventional approach. “Finally, a ticket that tells it like it is!” exclaimed one enthusiastic supporter. “They’re not afraid to get their hands dirty – or their mouths, apparently.”
Critics, however, are less impressed. “This is what our politics has come to?” one commentator lamented. “A viral video moment qualifies you to be a heartbeat away from the presidency?”
But for now, Harris and the “Hawk Tuah” Girl are riding the wave of publicity. As they gear up for the campaign trail, one thing is certain: 2024 is going to be an election year like no other.
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