BREAKING: Kamala Harris campaign provides evidence that Trump is Literally Hitler
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a groundbreaking announcement, Vice President Kamala Harris has provided what she calls “undeniable proof” that Donald Trump is, in fact, literally Adolf Hitler. Her compelling evidence? Both men have been photographed drinking water from glasses.
“This is not a coincidence,” Harris declared during a press conference, holding up two side-by-side images: one of Donald Trump sipping water during a 2018 speech, and another of Adolf Hitler holding a similar glass at a state function in the 1930s. “If it looks like fascism, and it hydrates like fascism, then it is fascism.”
The Vice President explained that this sinister connection between Trump and Hitler “goes deeper than anyone ever imagined.”
“Both men believed in public speaking, waving to large crowds, and apparently, the consumption of liquids. And let’s not ignore the fact that both of them had hair,” she added with a dramatic pause, to ensure the gravity of her revelation set in.
Reporters gasped audibly. Some clutched their pearls, others frantically took notes.
“This glass thing is more than just water,” Harris elaborated. “It’s about control. It’s about power. Notice how Trump used only one hand to drink? That’s the same number of hands Hitler had when he was in control of Nazi Germany.”
Political analysts are divided over the announcement. While many agree it’s Harris’s boldest move yet, a few skeptics suggested that millions of people drink water from glasses every day, including Harris herself.
“That’s ridiculous,” Harris retorted when questioned by a Fox News reporter. “I drink water with the intention of democracy. That’s the difference.”
To reinforce her point, Harris showed a final clip of Trump awkwardly gripping a water glass with two hands. “Do you see that? That’s the exact same energy used by dictators throughout history. It’s clear he’s not just drinking — he’s practicing authoritarianism.”
The White House also announced a new initiative in response to Harris’s findings: a national campaign encouraging Americans to drink water from mason jars, paper cups, or cupped hands to prevent future fascism.
“From now on,” Harris concluded, “if you see anyone using a traditional glass, you’ll know they are a threat to democracy. Stay vigilant, America. And stay hydrated — but with freedom fluids only.”
Trump has yet to respond directly but was last seen sipping Diet Coke from a wine glass, leaving experts puzzled as to whether that counts as further evidence or just poor taste.