BREAKING: Kamala Harris given her old job at McDonald’s following election loss

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Oakland, CA — In the wake of a tumultuous election, Kamala Harris has reportedly rejoined the workforce at an Oakland McDonald’s, where she once held a part-time job in her youth. Returning to her roots in the fast-food world, the former vice president was warmly welcomed by local staff and McDonald’s regulars who dubbed her “the friendliest fry cook in California.”

“It’s like coming home,” Harris said. “My passion for drive-thru headsets and smiling at people through plexiglass never left me.”

A crew member described Harris as “eager to learn the McFlurry machine,” adding that she’s been deeply committed to ensuring that “every shake is as smooth as her campaign slogans.” Reports indicate that her signature laugh has already lifted morale, with many team members crediting her with transforming the kitchen atmosphere from fast food to “fun food.”

A spokesperson for McDonald’s commented, “We’re just happy to have her back! Kamala’s excited to rediscover her voice on the intercom — as long as it isn’t tied to the price of an Egg McMuffin.”

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