BREAKING: Trump hires Rooftop Koreans to beef up security after Secret Service failure
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In a bold and unexpected move, former President Donald Trump has announced the hiring of the famed “Rooftop Koreans” to enhance his personal security detail. This decision comes in the wake of a recent assassination attempt at his rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, where the Secret Service narrowly averted disaster.
The term “Rooftop Koreans” harkens back to the 1992 Los Angeles riots, when Korean business owners famously took to their rooftops with firearms to defend their properties from looters. Trump’s choice to incorporate this unconventional security force has sent shockwaves through both political and law enforcement circles.
“After the latest incident, it’s clear we need a security upgrade,” Trump stated in a press release. “The Secret Service did their best, but we need more. We need the Rooftop Koreans.”
The recruitment of these legendary defenders is seen by many as a genius move, combining both nostalgia and practical defense strategies. The newly formed team, dubbed “Operation RoofTop Trump,” will be deployed at all upcoming rallies and events.
Trump’s security team, now a mix of Secret Service agents and Rooftop Koreans, presents a formidable and visually striking presence. Equipped with state-of-the-art surveillance gear and an array of firearms, the Rooftop Koreans are ready to ensure no threat goes unnoticed or unchallenged.
“The Rooftop Koreans are the best in the business,” said Trump. “They know how to handle a situation, and they have the experience to back it up. Plus, they look really cool up there.”
Critics, however, are quick to point out the potential legal and ethical issues surrounding this unorthodox security measure. “This is yet another example of Trump’s disregard for conventional protocols,” said Senator Ima Critic. “We can’t just have armed civilians as part of a security detail for a former president.”
But Trump’s supporters are thrilled by the decision. “This is why we love Trump,” said rally attendee Joe Patriot. “He’s not afraid to think outside the box. Who else would have thought of hiring Rooftop Koreans to protect him? It’s brilliant!”
Even the Rooftop Koreans themselves seem to be embracing their new roles with enthusiasm. “We’re honored to be part of this team,” said lead member Kim Jung-Security. “We defended our businesses, and now we’ll defend our president. It’s a natural progression.”
The move has also sparked a wave of memes and social media posts, with hashtags like #RooftopTrump and #KoreansToTheRescue trending across platforms. Late-night comedians are having a field day, with some joking that Trump’s next move might be hiring ninja warriors or pirates for additional security.
Meanwhile, sales of rooftop-friendly gear and tactical equipment have surged, with many aspiring to emulate the Rooftop Koreans’ iconic style. Gun stores and outdoor shops have reported a spike in demand for high-powered binoculars, long-range rifles, and rooftop hammocks.
As the 2024 election season heats up, one thing is certain: Trump’s security detail will be the most talked-about and visually distinctive in modern political history. Whether this unconventional approach will deter future threats or simply add to the spectacle of Trump’s public appearances remains to be seen.
In the words of Trump himself, “We’re making security great again – one rooftop at a time.”