President Donald Trump has cancelled the national holiday April Fool’s Day due to severe competition from the ridiculousness of reality.
“No made up prank can compare to the unbelievable crap that’s happening in the real world right now,” Spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “so we’re going to just scrap the whole April Fool’s Day thing.”
Trump has also discontinued all satire websites because it is increasingly difficult to write more absurd stuff than what’s actually going on.
“You have fascists calling themselves anti-fascists, entire populations brainwashed into thinking a man can get pregnant, a damn muppet in Congress who wants to ban cow farts,” analyst Taco Jones said. “Go home reality, you’re drunk!”
Reality summed up in the latest fashion:
Others, like Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez have defended the holiday. “We need to celebrate the fools of the world and not let their legacy go unnoticed!”